Random Incorrect Quotes

Sanders Sides (and Thomas, of course)

Virgil: Patton might've raised an emotionally awkward child with self esteem issues, but hE DIDNT RAISE NO QUITTER-

Thomas, hearing noises at night: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life.
Thomas, getting shampoo in his eyes: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child.
Thomas, heart is beating fast: I think I am having a heart attack, is this what cardiac arrest is?
Thomas, when a cop walks by: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone.
Thomas, taking a test: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of class and amount to nothing.
Thomas, getting a sunburn: Great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents.
Thomas, tripping over something: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me?
[oof me] [and Virgil stop it]

Complementing someone (or somethin' idk)
Roman: Even when this Earth is dust between the stars, I will still love you~ <3
Logan: All your facial parts... are in the right spots.

Virgil: So, let me get this straight-
Roman: More like let me run this bi you.
Patton: Let's just see how this pans out.
Logan: We should ace-ess the situation.
Thomas: I'm gay.

Virgil gets in trouble idk
Virgil: So? What are you gonna do about it?
Roman: *holds finger above a G note on a piano*
Virgil: Okay, let's back up for a sec-
[Yea, I made this up haha]

Patton, looking under a bed: Virgil, are you ready to stop being mad?
Virgil: *emo hissing*
Patton, pulling back in fear: Alrighty, then.

Virgil: Yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a-
Patton, bursting in from the other room: SMORE!

Roman: Shrimp! HEAVEN! NOW!
Logan: Roman, please, we can't keep doing this-

Virgil: Oh god, Logan's trying to be hip again.
Roman: He's not even pronouncing it right!
Logan: YET!

Patton: Do you think birds get sad because they don't have arms?
Logan: Well, do you get sad because you don't have wings?
Patton, already crying: Everyday.

Remus: I like your new pants.
Logan: Thanks, they were 50% off.
Remus, winking: I'd like them better if they were 100% off.
Logan: The store can't just give away clothes for free.
Remus: That's not what I meant-
Logan: That's a terrible way to run a business, Remus. You should know this.

Roman: Do you have any shaving cream I can borrow?
Remus: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.
Roman: Wait you eat shaving cream???
Remus: No, why would I eat it if I don't like the way it tastes?

Remus, singing to Deceit: Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City!
Deceit: I'm not in New York City. And that song is about a man in love with a woman who had no interest in him and was already dating someone else, built upon the lie that he already had a song written about her.
Remus:
Remus: HEY THERE DELILAH WHAT'S IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY-

Remus: *pulls out a knife*
Roman: Oh no
Remus: *uses knife to cut cardboard box*
Roman: Oh okay
Remus: *pulls gun out of the box*
Roman: Oh no

Deceit, teaching Virgil how to drive: Okay, so you're driving, and Remus walks onto the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Virgil: Oh, definitely Remus.
Deceit, rubbing his temples: The brakes, Virgil. You hit the brakes.

Roman: Past tense of William Shakespeare? William Shookspeare.
Remus: Wouldiwas Shookspeared.
Logan: Stop.

Remus: If there was a hand in your belly and lightly touched the inside of it, would it still tickle?
Thomas:
Thomas:
Thomas:
[Thought this up like 20 minutes after I woke up]

Roman: Do you wanna hang out with us at McDonald's?
Virgil: My heart says yes, but my anxiety says no.
Roman: Sorry, all I heard was yes come oN LETS GO TO THE BALLPIT
Virgil: ROMAN MY ANXIETY SAYS NO
Roman: LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
Virgil: ROMAN-
Roman: B A L L P I T

Roman: You're a monster. You will never know true fear.
Remus: Okay, first of all, have you heard Deceit yell your full name?

Remus: Our names are just random noises we were raised to respond to.
Roman: Remus no.

Roman: Hey, is this alcohol or perfume?
Remus: *grabs it and drinks the whole thing*
Remus: It's perfume.