Numb // H. hj

-NUMB- (final Chapter)

(please before reading this, read all the italicized words from the past chapters, read them in order thank you!!!!)

With You and I, I had everything. I found myself happy when you were here, until everything changed, you changed. Before, I was begging you to not leave me, but now I feel the opposite, slowly, I began to give up, I was going mad, because of you, I used to think 'why are you like this? You're so cold and distant but sometimes you open up to me' you were confusing me, you were already hurting me. My heart used to ache for your smile, but I was too blinded by happy tears to see that, the smile you flashed at me was never for me, but for someone else. I felt love, when I kissed you, I was happy. At least I thought I was, because of you, I learned that we should let go, even if it hurts, because that's how love works. You ruined me. The words that you said that day Stabbed Me like a knife Piercing through my heart. It hurts so much, You left. I was at a loss of words. Nothing would come out. I fell on my knees, Sobbing loudly. What you said repeated over and over again in my mind. It tore me, then the next day. You said 'let's break up' Once those three words left your mouth. I couldn't stop the tears from gushing out. My heart was aching, throbbing in pain. I didn't care anymore. I cried my heart out. I did everything you wanted. Yet I still wasn't enough. All I wanted was your love. And I couldn't have it. It turns out You played me all along. It worsens the pain. I was choking on tears. Then you shut the door. Leaving me there. Cold. Empty. Broken.

And mostly,

numb.

All I feel now is emptiness, I'm blank, I can't feel anymore emotions.

Numb.

I felt...

Numb...

I used to feel emotions...

But you took away my feelings...

Selfishly taking away my heart along with it...

So the reason why I feel numb...

Is because of the very person that made me feel emotions again...

Hwang hyunjin.

I hope you're happy.

I hope you'll live life normally.

Without me.

By the time you'll be reading this.

I'm already gone.

Just know.

That even when I'm empty with no emotion.

Even when all I feel is numb.

Even when I kill myself and feel nothing at all.

Just know one thing is for certain.

I love you.

Even if you were the one that broke my heart, trust and everything that I have.

I still love you.

And I probably will.

Even when I die.

Sincerely..

Jung hyoorin.

She closed the letter, smiling, before putting it inside the frame along with their pictures, then putting it in a big box, writing his address and left it outside for the mailman. She went upstairs, to her room and grabbed the toughest rope she got. She Tied it into a knot on her ceiling fan, then she took out a Chair and stood on it, she let the rope hung loose on her head, before tightening it around her neck. A tear rolled down her cheek, "I'm finally doing it huh?" she chuckled, tears were now falling, "I hope this makes you happy jinnie" she sobbed, "I love you" she muttered softly while staring at her biggest frame of the both of them with a soft smile, the picture was took when they had their first hangout.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before slightly hopping and kicking off the chair, she immediately started choking, but it didn't hurt, it was for hyunjin, so she felt numb, tears gushed down her cheeks as she was slowly losing oxygen, "WAIT!!!" she heard hyunjin's loud voice as a lot of things fell and broke as he arrived at her room, she wiped off her remaining tears and smiled "thank you hyunjin, for everything. " The last tear rolled down her cheek as she took her last breath, before falling down the ground limply, she had locked her door, so when hyunjin broke the door open, it was too late, now she was really numb.

-END-