Going Mental

Misconceptions

Grounder(Laetus)>"So is it circumstances or mental things?"

Myself(Cantor)>"Mostly anxiety, there are certain people who will set me off. Not all the time but, sometimes things just collapse around certain people."

"Am I one of those people?"

"No, not you"

It was shortly after this conversation that a realization struck me. I said previously that people need others to be their anchors. This is a misconception that I subconsciously believed up until now.

I tried to trace where the root of this lie began. At first I thought that I was genuinely stupid and just had believed something false altogether. Then I uncovered things that I had stored up in a place that I forgot to mention in the ?֖%@) dimension.

Introducing the Vault... This is a place where I pack the ideologies I live my life by. Specific phrases and songs comprise most of my vault. I decided to dig through and see what I had based this blatant lie on. I found answers so near the truth that I didn't detect them until I had already been damaged by them to some capacity.

Here are the things I found: 'Bear one another's burdens'
'It is not good for man to be alone'

I am by no means saying that these aren't true. I am saying that isolated from the other things contained in The Vault they lose their true meaning. I'm saying that they are twisted by the one whose name shall not be mentioned. But, he won't make them purely evil, he will make it look appealing and even closely align with other things you have set your mind on believing.

I found another quote in the Vault which launched my perspective for this quest to destroy this particular misconception.

"As long as I describe them as the fire constantly setting flame to my rope...I can remain the victim."

I wanted to feel something. Whether it was love, pain, injustice, or some other fleeting emotion. I had put people in places to fulfill those desires. I had unknowingly manipulated people in my head. Thankfully I caught it before it hurt any relationship in the External. I had based my belief that another human needed to be my anchor. I took what I wanted from words that were pointing me towards something better than I could even think to desire. I got so caught up in the details, that I missed the story.

So what made this lie easy to believe?

I am what you would call an empath. This means I feel others pain with them. I don't just look at it and feel sorry for them; I put myself in their position and feel the torrent of emotions and pain. I'm not just talking internal, I mean literal, and physical pain. It became second nature for me to do so therefore it became something I almost expected others to do for me. I had this misconception of peoples grounding abilities based on my own insecurity. I want someone to listen to what I have to say. I desire to have someone close enough to endure the pain with me, not just throw bandages into the storm so I can patch myself up. I need someone close so I don't spiral into the complete oblivion of The Crater...

What I just said probably made you feel like you needed to stand there with me. To feel it. That's the problem. We have romanticised the idea of hurting for others sake. My insecurities have pushed me towards looking for affirmation in other people. That is most definitely unhealthy for both parties. It seems heroic to be there for someone in a time of desperate need. But, too often we will try to fight this person's battle for them. We put a fairy fog around the idea of being someone's main support. No person should ever be someones main support. That is too much responsibility to put on any person for any reason. People are inconsistent. Each one is shaped by their own experiences, gods, and demons. If you put your belief in them you are putting belief in someone elses belief. Not your own belief. An anchor is something that holds you steady, you will need an unchanging foundation.

But, isn't empathy good?

To an extent, yes. Empathy can however, be tainted faster than most people think. Marriage is the only place where I have never seen any impurity in empathy. Once married, you are to be held responsible for this persons well being...You are responsible for it because this person has become you. Together in one mind and soul. I can't honestly say understand all the nuances of what marriage does to the mind but I know the change is indeed drastic. Marriage is the only way someone can constantly be in another persons ?֖%@) dimension. The border of worlds is crossed at the joining of two people.

This isn't a strange glitch in reality. It is very purposeful. It is beautiful, innocent, and healthy for both people if maintained properly.

~~~phasing initiated~~~

~~~Welcome to The Room~~~

Figures this would be the thing to send me back here... I will say something is different about my room. It still isn't clean by any means, and the lyrics are still etched into the walls; but the hand seems to be a bit smaller. The presence of 'HIM' isn't gone yet but, this is progress.

~~~Character list updated~~~

Myself (Author):
Name- Cantor
Gender-Male
Phase tendencies- Frequent flitter, relationship oriented, influenced by a voice... He has no permission to show up today though...

##Grounder## //TitleExtracted//
//ReinstateTitle//

Friend
Name- Laetus
Gender-Female
Phase Tendencies- Undiscovered