Believe in Yourself

Believe in yourself

I've always been heavy. I was a heavy kid. I was a heavy teenager and I am a heavy adult. My mom lost 100 pounds when my parents got divorced. I gained 100 pounds when my parents got divorced. I was 16.

Every new doctor that I've seen in the last 10 years has asked me if I would consider bariatric surgery. I couldn't afford it and my insurance wouldn't cover it. More than that, I hated that it was the first question asked of me. Hated that surgery was my only option.

My acupuncturist/spiritual magician asked me during my session the other day whether or not I believed that I was capable of losing weight. Could I be successful at losing the amount of weight that I wanted (*coughs* needed) to lose.

I was a little stumped. I've been asked a lot of questions by my medical care teams over the years. But this one stumped me. I don't know, I told her.

"I feel like there's conflicting research."

"What do you mean?"

I told her how I had attended this lecture where the researcher presented his findings that people who need to lose 30% or more of their body weight don't do so successfully without bariatric surgery. That wasn't actually the goal of his research or the main message that he was relating. But that was my takeaway.

I told her how there was a part of me that didn't want to believe that. But that I had never been very successful at losing weight or establishing healthy habits before. So maybe I did think it was true.

"What barriers do you feel like you need to overcome to lose weight and establish those habits?" She asked, poking more needles into my back and shoulders.

I told her how pain and a lack of energy have always deterred me. How I felt like maybe I was just too lazy and not meant to be skinny. Ok, I actually didn't tell her about that last part, but it's just as true.

At the end of my session she said that one of the things she wanted to work on with me was breaking down those barriers. Her goal for me is to help me believe that I can lose weight, that I can be healthy, that I can control my anxiety.

A couple days later and her words are still floating around my head. How many things have I failed to do because I didn't believe in myself.

Could it really be that easy?!

Believe in yourself!

Set audacious goals for yourself and pursue them mercilessly.

Believe in yourself!

Be the outlier that ruins the data and does what "they" say can't be done.

Believe in yourself!

When your goal seems just out of reach, refocus and find a way to make that goal more attainable and go at it again.

Believe in yourself!

Why did I take me so many years to realize that this was what I was missing.

Believe in yourself!

When it's not easy and you feel like giving up.

Believe in yourself!

I'm working on two short story collections and preparing to write my first novel. I have many online writing friends and we all talk about how much our first drafts suck.

Believe in yourself!

Even if that first draft isn't perfect. Remember that you can always go back and refine, repolish, revise.

Believe in yourself!

No it's not easy. But you have everything to gain!