It was currently around two am and I couldn't sleep. The tour bus was pulled over in a parking lot for a few more hours, but my mind was filled with random thoughts and I just couldn't stop thinking.
For one, the memories of my parents death wouldn't stop coming back to me. I can only assume it's because their anniversary of their death would be in two weeks, but at the same time I didn't understand why the same pictures or same reoccurring dream was continuing to move through my brain when it has never happened around this time.
Then there were Ali and Ashton. I haven't heard from them since I left Kentucky which worried me tons. I know they're probably alright and are extremely busy, but a text would be nice. Though, I can't complain because I haven't made an effort to talk to them either.
I made a mental note that that would be the first thing I do tomorrow.
But overall, Jonah has been the number one thing that has taken over my brain. I can't stop thinking about our kiss and how I want so much for it to happen again.
I'm scared. I'm scared that once your is over - if we ever do start a relationship - that we'll never talk or something will happen. I know it's stupid. I know that Jonah isn't one who would purposely hurt me or anyone for that matter. But the fear is still there.
I had gotten enough of it and hopped out of my bunk. I slowly opened Jonah curtain to see him on his phone, his eyes not showing any sign of exhaustion.
He looked my way and gave me a confused look, "Why are you still up? Did I wake you? I'm sorry if I did."
I shook my head, "No, I've been awake. I wasn't going to bother you, but I was just seeing if you were awake. Do you want to go on a walk with me? I know it's late, but it looks like neither of us are going to sleep anytime soon..."
Jonah turned his phone off and sat it down before sitting up in his bunk to get out. "Sure, let me get a hoodie and shoes... Do you want one?"
I tilted my head in confusion, "One what?"
He gave a quiet laugh, " A hoodie, stupid."
"Oh, uhm, sure." I grabbed my slide on vans from my bunk and slipped them one before grabbing Jonah's hoodie he handed me and slipping it over my head. Surprisingly, it fit almost perfectly.
Jonah and I exited the tour bus, making sure to stay quiet as to not wanting to wake anyone else up since it was already so late in the night.
We were parked at a small diner that was open overnight and gave us permission to park there for at tops twelve hours. There were some other random buildings scattered around and a small, well lit park a little ways down the street.
That's where Jonah and I were heading. Being late, my hands were starting to get cold so I shoved them into my hoodie. Jonah, being the observant person he is, shook his head before grabbing one of my hands out of the pocket and intertwining our fingers.
The butterflies were definitely swirling in my stomach around this time, and it was about to get to overwhelming.
"Why were you up?" Jonah asked as we were now walking down the little pathway of the park, still hand in hand.
I shrugged, unsure of how to answer that. "My thoughts were just keeping me up, I guess you could say."
"Want to be any more specific?" He laughed.
"Not really, it's kind of embarrassing..." I sighed, then tried to change the topic, "Uhm, what kept you up?"
He smirked, "My thoughts."
"Wow, I really hate you."
"You've told me otherwise before." He teased, causing me to bite my lip and stop in my tracks.
"That's what I was thinking about, if I'm being one hundred percent honest with you."
"What do you mean?"
"I was thinking about us. Our feelings towards each other are so obvious that it eats me alive inside that I can't be with you. I want to be together so bad. You accidentally texting me was probably one of the best mistakes that has ever happened. You've taken me out of my dark side that Ali and Ashton couldn't even take me out of. You're basically my happiness and I want more than anything for us to actually be something more than just friends."
Jonah stopped us and grabbed my other hand. "Then why can't we? I know you're worried about the distance, but we're going to be together on tour for a few more months, and by then you'll be moved to LA. It works out perfectly."
I bit the inside of my cheek, a million thoughts on what I should say running through my head.
"Okay, lets do this."
☾❦☽ *jonahmarais deleted their last post*
jonahmarais
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♥️916k | 💬none |👥none jonahmarais; and so i call you mine.
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(a/n) word count; 861 i feel like i randomly made them finally together and idk how to feel about that. i was gonna wait til further on in the book but i just dk.
