The Darkest Eternities

XV. Anger and Silence

Cara

"Thanks for driving me. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up," I said gratefully. Connor had come to the rescue. When my car broke down I had expected that I would be stuck at school for hours, until my dad picked me up.

Thankfully, Connor showed up, accessed the problem with my car and offered me a ride home. I obviously accepted seeing as I had no other option plus he was my neighbour which meant no inconvenience on his part.

He averted his eyes from the road and asked me how I was.

"I am fine. What about you?" It was a bit difficult having a conversation with Connor. I didn't know him much, we barely even spoke. In spite of him being my neighbour and classmate, we lived two completely different lives.

"Things are...fine," he responded. There was hesitance in his tone but I ignored it. It was not any of my business. I just hoped he'd be alright. "Anyway...I hope you are going for the trip...you know, the one to Rome."

The trip. There was a history trip my class would be taking at the end of the following week. I had completely forgotten about it. Thankfully, I had already asked my father to pay for me and to sign the permission slip. He didn't mind as long as there would be teacher and adult supervision to make sure there were no 'shenanigans' as he put it.

It did not matter, I had a history of being as prudish as a nun.

Back in the seventh grade at my first boy-girl party, we all gathered in a circle to play party games. At first we did pretty innocent stuff like card games and Uno but as the night progressed to later, devilish hours -which was eight o'clock for thirteen year old me- the games became more daring.

Seven minutes in heaven? I had thought. What's that?

I was still a bit innocent back then so I did not know what that was. I quickly figured out what it was when the first couple was chosen. They went into the closet and the rest of us remained outside.

Seven minutes passed and they came out. Both of my classmates were blushing beet red. It was clear what had happened inside the closet.

Jessica, the host of the party and so far the most popular girl in the seventh grade asked who would go first and everyone shouted, "Cara and Dee." Soon they were chanting mine and Dee's names. Dee was the boy's nickname. I doubt I remember his real name, it was rarely used.

Dee was tall with bright blue eyes and pretty blonde hair. I later found out that he had had a crush on me ever since my first day at that school.

Into the closet we went.

It was dark and confined. Dee's body pressed against mine. " Sorry," he said shyly after he realised that his chest was pressed against my developing breasts. I readjusted myself so that both he and I were more comfortable.

"So...what do we do?"Asked Dee. He seemed even more shy than me. I was surprised since he was one of the most popular boys in the school, I assumed he must have kissed a thousand girls already. "I have sort of never kissed anyone before."

"Neither have I," I whispered. It was quiet. "Let's just do it... kiss." I broke the silence. It wouldn't be so bad. Many of my friends - the few friends I had ...which was only two friends- had already had their first kisses so I wanted to have mine. Yeah, the peer pressure had really hit me hard at that age.

We both agreed to do it on the count of three.

One... I counted in my head.

Two...

I felt him near me, moving closer.

Three...

I panicked and baam!