hamilton one shots

lifeboat (heathers hamilton crossover)

So basically I'm making a oneshot with the lyrics of lifeboat from Heathers so yeah. Angsty Alexander.
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I float in a boat
In a raging black ocean
Low in the water
And nowhere to go
The tiniest lifeboat
With people I know
 
I look around at all these people I know. And it's overwhelming. Knowing none of them really care. I'm just there.

Cold, clammy, and crowded
The people smell desperate
We'll sink any minute
So someone must go
The tiniest lifeboat
With the people I know
 
It's suffocating. Everywhere you go you either know people or get to know people. It's a lose lose. The more people you know the more people hate you and wish you would die. Pretending they love you and would never hurt you.

Everyone's pushing
Everyone's fighting
Storms are approaching
There's nowhere to hide
If I say the wrong thing
Or I wear the wrong outfit
They'll throw me right over the side
 
I run into the bathroom desperately. I can end this. The pain and suffering of others. I'll die and no one would notice. I'm just another body lost at sea. Another one thrown off the lifeboat.

I'm hugging my knees
And the captain is pointing
Well, who made her captain?
Still, the weakest must go
The tiniest lifeboat
Full of people I know
The tiniest lifeboat
Full of people I know

I empty the bottle into myself and I get flashbacks. Flashbacks of the shuylers teaching me there sister dance. Flashbacks of John Laurens and his beautiful freckles and hair and eyes. Lafayette and hurcules. The four of us as kids teasing the shuylers. My first kiss with Eliza. The time I kissed John during truth or dare. The image of my mother. My mom. I'll see her soon. I fall back and hit the tile floor.

September first. The day Alexander hamilton committed suicide in the school bathroom.

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Uh yeah. Sorry I keep making depressing short ones. Hopefully they aren't complete trash.

~A.burr💕