pushing away the unimaginable..

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by Aaron_BurrSir

by Aaron_BurrSir

Angesty trans!Charles x Aaron. Requested by Eating_Macandcheese

Charles pov
____________

The words float around my ears. 'Your pregnant' me. Charles Lee. Born Charlotte Rose Lee am pregnant with the love of my lifes baby. I should be excited. Extatic even. But all I feel is worry, fear and shame. Worry, because what is something happens. What if something happeneds to the baby or me. What if people hate me. Fear, because what if the love of my life, my boyfriend Aaron hate me. Or make me get an abortion. And shame because I came out as trans. I left Charlotte rose Lee behind along time and made myself a better me. Charles Lee. I just haven't had the money to get the surgery.
And now Im With child. A child... Inside of me.
I gather my things and start walking home. I open the door to my house to see my loving boyfriend waiting.

"Did you figure out why you have been so sick?" He says concerned for my health. I give a small smile and nod.
"Aaron..." I say quietly.
"Yes my love?" He says his voice mixed between curiousness and concern.
"Aaron I'm.... Pregnant"
I close my eyes expecting to get thrown, or hit, or yelled at. But all I feel are two warm, portecting arms wrap around me.
"Oh my God! I'm gonna be a dad. We're gonna be dads Charles!"
I smile and laugh a little. "y-yeah!" I hug him back emotions swiping over me.
"I love you so much Charles" burr mumbles hugging me tightly. We spent that night cuddling and talking about our future.

Six months later

Aaron and I are beyond excited. Today we're hanging out at Alexanders birthday party. After a little while at the party John drags me into the other room.
"John! What are you doing!"
"Thats for me to know and you to find out~"
"John what the hell I'm pregnant with aarons baby and your engaged to Alex"
"I know" he laughs.
"Seriously what's up?"
"Nothing" he wraps a blindfold around me and drags me out. The pulls it off and hands me a safety pin and a balloon. I pop the balloon

Go to the place where you came out. -xoxo

Weird.. I came out to all of our friends at a McDonalds so I walk to the McDonalds and there's another balloon and a small stud for my nose piercing. I pop this Balloon.

Go to the place you had your first date -xoxo

I curiously go to the Apple bees where I had my first date. There's a necklace with today's date on it. Weird. I pop the balloon. John had left so it was just me.

Go to the place where you told me were going to be dads -xoxo

I walk my house. There was one last balloon. I pop it.

Walk inside my dearest Charles - Aaron.

I walk inside and my eyes fill with tears. There's all of our friends around, and there's glitter and it's gorgeous inside. But the biggest thing is my boyfriend on one knee holding a box with a ring inside. I gasp and run over and hug him. "y-yes. Yes a million times i love you!"

He pulls me into a big hug and kisses me. He puts the ring on my finger and yet again. We're the happiest we've ever been.

Three months later

I wake up in pain. It's a burr after that. Aaron takes me to thr hospital. I hear my yelling. The doctor talking and Aaron giving me reassuring mumbles. After a while I finally give birth. Wait. Somethings wrong. I don't hear crying.
"T-theres no crying. B-babys are supposed to c-cry!" The doctors rush out of the room with the baby. "Aaron they left with my baby! My baby-" I start crying. Aaron hugs me tightly. Time stopped. I don't know if it was minutes or hours but the doctor finally walks back in.
"Mr and?"
"Mr.."
"Mr burr and Mr Lee, we tried all we could do. But we couldn't save your baby girl. You can hold her if you like." I nod a little and hold the cold lifeless baby.
"S-she looks l-like y-you Aaron."
Aaron smiles a little. "she does."
"We should name her..." Aaron nods in agreement
"Charlotte."

Charlotte Erin burr-lee.

A week later

I finally make my way into the nursery. Aaron was grocery shopping so I was alone for a while. The crib. The clothes. The small shoes and dippers the toys and stuffed animals. I start crying. I must have been there for hours because after a while Aaron runs in and we cry. Together. On the floor of the nursery. Morning over Charlotte. There's a reason people never talk about losing a child. Because they want to portect us. They want to push us away from thr unimaginable.