All I Ask of You
1. Theme
Every surprise Alex brought, he brought it when he was wasted. The taste of alcohol left a hollow feeling inside Miles' rib cage and he began to drink just as much, this way he wouldn't be able to tell who was more messed up.
"Come on, Al." He circled his arms around Alex's waist to support him. They hadn't been keeping up with each other recently, but Miles wasn't that stupid to be oblivious to the fact that Alex was still taken.
Nothing new. Miles had to stop and remind himself that he chose this and had it coming, so he didn't get to be upset.
"Give us a kiss, will you?" Alex breathed out heavily, his words even heavier. Miles was so used to be crushed by those whispers that his body was simply aching to comply with Alex's wish. He never felt it was out of place when they were together. It was always afterwards, when he was alone and the daylight fell upon his shoulder, that Miles felt he made another mistake.
He followed the old routine, stooping to swallow down the soft moans Alex was making. Cold sweat damped his shirt as Miles fought the impulse to touch Alex's hair. Instead, Miles' fingertips bit into his own palms. "Take it easy." The world swam dizzily, making his knees go weak and shaky. But at the same time, he sounded calm and almost cold. "You want some water?"
Alex didn't want the water. The idea of Miles leaving the room right now was obviously not welcomed. Miles waited for him to speak up while Alex looked at him in silence, trying to figure out his own thoughts. Miles always got a bit lost when Alex was like this. Usually, it was Alex who arranged his mind and decided where the road stretched to. Miles was desperate enough to let Alex make the decision all the time. Even when they were fighting, or when he lost his bloody mind and got too greedy.
Miles stared right back at Alex's eyes. There was an unconscious touch of tenderness in his drunken gaze. He wondered if Alex would ever realize how cruel he had always been. He never looked at Miles like this when he could think straight. It was always after too many shots of whiskey and empty beer bottles that Alex lost control, taking the leash which had never really left his hands.
"Come here, Miles." He decided finally. It's neither an order nor a suggestion. Alex just stated what was bound to happen in a few minutes. Somehow to him Miles never ceased to be predictable.
"I want you." Alex murmured.
Miles was by his side in a blink.
2. Eureka
Alex remembered himself rambling, after idling an afternoon away on that small leather sofa in Miles' living room. Miles was making a late coffee for himself in the kitchen. His bare feet appeared to be really pale against the bold graffiti on the floor. "You know how people often get loud when they want to be serious, to make a point? You are quite the opposite, Miles."
He forgot what they were talking before he ruined the comfortable air around with that sentence. Miles casted him a long, accusing glance. What was the last time Alex had seen him like this? Could be when they were still on tour together and Miles bared his soul to him during some stupid argument. Or maybe it was when they were both soaked in the warm moonlight in Mexico and Miles kept his mouth shut as Alex gave French kisses to someone else. Either way, it had been a long time.
Miles sat down next to him. His kneecap dug into Alex's thigh as he moved closer. "What makes you say that, Al?"
The softness in his raspy voice worked better than any sort of alcohol to take Alex's guard down. The question rolled right off his tongue like a tickling time bomb. "Why aren't you angry?"
