I find it frustrating. Turning on the computer while it is light out and then when you close the screen, it is still light but later somehow. That's when you check the clock and see that night had been and gone while you were in a different world. It's kind of like you were dreaming, having escaped reality for such a long time and then returning at the end of it. But it's not like dreaming because you are still in control. You can still think and plan and you can stop whenever you want. Although, I suppose that last one may not be true. Once you have entered the depths of the internet, no matter what you might be doing, it is often near impossible to just stop. It's always one more chapter, one more video, one more song, one more update. But it's never one more. One more regret I suppose but often not a regret, more like the aftermath. The aftermath is the worst. The lack of sleep, the exhaustion, the having to get up and actually do something. That's when it kicks in.
Yet, although you may say that you regret it or hate what it does to you, you do it again. Because, it's not always a mistake but a choice that is rather difficult to handle. Now, not only does it have the mental aftermath of tiredness and lack of concentration but there is the phyical aftermath of dark circles under your eyes and physical tiredness. It makes your eyelids heavy, battling with sleep. Because sleep is what you crave. You love the sleep. You just want to be able to sleep in the day instead. But society unfortunately won't have any of that. You have to get up and go out and actually have a life. I suppose that is a rather harsh way of putting it. Because it is a life, it's just not the one society wants you to have. Which is crazy because these people that are constantly telling you to change or grow up were once in nappies, barely even able to crawl.
For all these people know, you could grow to be their boss or even make their lunch, in which case, theyy should probably just make their own. So, why does it matter if you're "wasting time" as they so elequently put it. It's not wasted time if it's what you wanted to do. Every second that passes brings us closer to the inevitability that is death. Nobody can escape it so why shouldn't you dream and read and create a whole other world? Why shouldn't you create something that can never actually exist but you can still go to when the world we live in gets to be too much? Because we all start at zero and we all end at zero, why should it matter what other people think you should do in between. You can reach five or you can reach five thousand but we all go back to zero eventually. No exceptions.
Time is a bitch and it's going to screw with you. It's going to take away so much but it's also going to offer you everything. I mean everything. Just because it hasn't been done or you can't do it yet, doesn't mean you can't do it at all. You have a limited amount of time and what you choose to do with that time is completely up to you. Nobody else should decide for you. Now I would love to say "nobody else will decide for you" but the sad truth is a lot of people don't decide for themselves. They let others push them around but it shouldn't be like that. Other people should not affect what you decide to do with your life, so stop worrying about all these people, who may I remind you once had to have their nappies changed, and just do what you want to do, what make you happy.That's what is really important.
So, if you want to stay up until five in the morning in a completely different world that seems to offer you so much more than what you are forced to do in the world we live in, go and live in that world. Of course, be mindful, you will have to come back and face reality. But if you can cope with it then don't let other people bother you about it. If you can't cope with it, change it. Alter your life so that everything is balanced eventually. You can do that. You can change what you do if you don't like it. Of course, there are things that we can't change but you can work around it and make it so that it fits in with your life. So you can escape to that other world but make sure you don't miss your flight back.
