So this is a bit of a late night ramble. I would like to apologise in advance for making absolutely no sense. So, today I've been thinking about reactions. Not the science ones. The human ones. And, it's interesting. I had a bit of news that I decided to tell some of my closest friends in confidence today and their different reactions to something that I had never discussed with any of them before was rather interesting. First off, I had the "I already knew." which didn't completely surprise me but still was a bit weird. For starters. no, you did not know. I had not told you or confirmed anything. Therefore, unless you have access to my thoughts. you did not know, you assumed. There's a huge difference. Secondly, there was no real reaction. Did you think it was a good thing? A bad thing? I have no freaking clue because all you said was that you knew already.
Then I had the, "Oh really?" But not just in shock, as in actually asking if I was sure. And not just once was this asked, but four times. I mean, to check that I'm not joking is fair enough but to then continue to question me like you were hoping it wasn't true. It made things awkward and gave off the impression that this person was not okay with what I was telling them. It immediately made me wish that I had not told that person. It even filled me with doubt. If they can't believe it, maybe I shouldn't either? --- I tried to so this without giving away what my "news" was but it's so obvious and I can't not make it obvious --- It was not my favourite reaction. Especially since the person then tried to tell me what it was. Like I didn't know already.
There was the "it doesn't matter" and "whatever floats your boat" responses which I was fine with. Now, bearing in mind I only told this news to seven people, these were my best friends I had ever had. And I was happy that their reactions were all generally positive. But then I told one of them and I got my absolute favourite reaction. This person hugged me and beamed at me and was just so happy. So I said to them, "This is by far the best reaction." And they said, "I'm just so happy that you're happy." And it was honestly the best thing in the world. This person was also probably the person least close to me out of the seven people I told.
These reactions have given me a lot to think about. Firstly, how and who I tell private things to. Some of the people I told had reactions that I was not expecting and it showed me that I needed to be careful how I went about these things. I think for now, I will leave it at the seven people I have told. No more experimenting with reacions for me. To be honest, I was very happy with the reactions but a lot of them surprised me which was strange and new but a kind of learning curb. A couple of the seven have been acting a bit strange towards me and I often find myself being ignored but I'm so used to it that I didn't even notice it had gotten worse following my news. But music is all I need. I've been through that before.
