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Yesterday I went for a psychiatric evaluation. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and a mood disorder. The anxiety disorder if self explanatory, but the mood disorder has to do with my brain not being able to regulate my mood correctly, causing feelings of depression. Not to be confused with bipolar disorder. I was prescribed two different pills, one for each disorder.
I knew all along that there was something wrong, and that it wasn't just some "teenage thing". My moms side of the family as a whole is full of depression and other mental disorders. So, while hearing the news wasn't surprising, it still hurt to hear. A part of me wanted the doctor to say that this was nothing, that I was just going through something and it would pass. But of course, that's not what happened. Obviously I'm grateful that I'll finally be getting help, but it's bittersweet. In the words of my doctor, "This is inherited. You were born with this. It will never go away." Not really comforting, but it's the harsh truth. I'm scared, terrified, but I'm glad I'm getting something to help these feelings go away, even slightly.
