Reality

(2)

It was early in the morning. I would usually wake up at this time to get ready for school. I didn't get much sleep after yesterday, well technically today. I had rolled over to the other side of my bed as I blankly stared at my empty white wall. My room was simple and plain. I didn't like any pastel colours. I had sighed out of sadness. I could feel tears running down my face again. This was really annoying. I can't stop thinking about him. We're finally separated. We said our love would last forever... We said that we would stay together... Everything was so much better when it was me and him. I know it's only been a couple of hours but to me it seems like it has been years. My heart was aching. My world was just collapsing in-front of my own eyes and I can't do anything to stop it. I was in pain. A lot of pain and nobody was there for me. It seemed like when he left, he left with the sun, the moon, the stars and anything inside of me that might have been good. I feel broken. I had wiped away the tears that were on my face. He wasn't worth crying over anymore. He hurt me. The only person I trusted with my own life had hurt me. Now I don't know who to trust or love ever again. Nothing will ever be the same. I know this for sure. I had sighed and whispered his name as tears started to fall again. "Leo..". I started gasping again. He was the one I loved and now I have to say goodbye. That was something I couldn't do. I'm sorry Leo. This seems like my fault. I'm not the victim in this. I'm the criminal. Suddenly, a gentle knock had came from the door behind me. I quickly wiped my tears and turned around. "Come in...". My voice was lost. It sounded rough, it was like I was almost silent. I guess crying can be bad. A tall figure had walked into my room. I couldn't make out if it was my father or older brother. They had came over and gently sat on the edge of my bed. I had sit up and realised it was my older brother Christian. He looked at me with a pitiful face. "Hey..." He softly said. I had forced myself to slightly smile at him. I replied back with a quiet "Hey". We both stared at each other in silent before he pulled me into a tight hug. I could feel myself wanting to cry. I had finally let myself go when he asked "Are you okay?". I bursted out crying as I tightly hugged my brother and buried my face in his shoulder. My brother softly stroked my hair with one hand and told me "It's going to be okay Charity" but the words that came out his mouth seemed to make no sense. I wasn't okay. I wanted to tell him. But I had to stay strong. I had moved back and wiped my tears while painfully laughing it off. "I'm fine Chris, don't worry". He knew I was lying. "I'm sorry Charity for not being there when you needed me, I'm a horrible brother. I promise from now on I will be there. I just don't understand why Le-". "Chris." I had cut him off before he continued. Hearing his name was probably the most painfullest thing I could experience. "I'm so sorry Charity.". I could tell my brother was also hurting. I had softly smiled at him, even if it was fake it made him feel more at comfort. Beside Leo being my best friend, Chris was also my best friend. He's been there for me since day one. He's only 2 years older than me. The only time I've seen Chris really sad was when our first ever dog passed away. He wouldn't come out his room for 6 days until I finally convinced him. Whenever I'm sad he is always there for me and right now I really needed him. I looked at my brother with blurry eyes and mumbled "Chris, promise me you will never leave me like everybody else." I was surprised that he even understood me when he said "I will never leave you Charity, no matter what". He smiled at me but all I did was look down and shut my eyes to hide the pain in my face. This wasn't what I imagined 2019 as. Chris had reached over to me and lifted my chin up so I could face him. "Give it some time sis.". Time. Time seemed like my only friend yet a fake one. It seemed like he wanted a response but I didn't know what to say as I was so clueless right now so I just nodded. "Come here". Chris had opened both arms so I could hug him. I had moved forward and rested my head on my brothers chest as he wrapped his arms around me. I felt safe in my brothers arms yet I still felt like my nightmares could still reach me. It was silent in the room until my mother came and knocked on the door. "Am I interrupting something?". Me and Chris had looked over to the door to see my mum leaning against the door frame smiling at us. Of course it would make any mother happy to see her children bonding. I had moved slightly back to see her a bit more clearly. "Hey mum" I muttered. That was when my mum realised something was wrong because of my voice but she didn't want to ask. I could see her hesitating to ask me so she changed her question to the original one that she was going to ask when she came, "So do you guys want to go get your father then go for a drive about? I know how much you love trips like that Charity". Chris had turned around and looked at me with a excited smile thinking it would make me feel better but I know it wasn't. "No thanks mum...". The response I had gave back had left my mother and brother dumbfounded. I was never the one to say no to a road trip but it was just going to remind me him...