Not Going To Fight It ( Tyga/Urban )

Prologue .

"They say that your past can and will haunt your future. But dont they know that it not only haunts your future but your present as well? Are you afraid ? Well its time for you to no longer be afraid."

La'Kiyah POV:

I jumped up, feeling my heart best as if it was going to jump out of my chest. I grabbed the wet rag from off my dresser to wipe off the sweat that was on my chest, neck, and face. As i did so, i looked over at my alarm. 4:26 a.m. i grabbed my pills and bottle of water. I popped the two pills prescribed by my doctor and drunk just about half the bottlw of water. I twisted the caps on both items back on and placed them back where i got them from. I thre the rag somewhere in my room as i got up. I walked onto my balcony to sit down and watch the sunrise, since i knew i was not going back to sleep anytime soon.

Although the nightmares, the waking up in the middle of the night, the sweating, the pill popping, hours lost of sleep, - was a everyda thing, i still wasnt even close to being use to it. In fact, I couldnt stand it. Almost. As much as i hate him.

He's the reason why i cant ever go to sleep at night without waking up hours later. He's the reason why i have to take these stupid pills. Hes the reason why I cant trust a boy- a man.

They say i should forgive but dont forget. That maybe it'll help me sleep at night. However what they dont understand is that my nightmares are not because I haven't forgave him for what he did to me , it's because i can't forget what he did to me. If I don't forget the memories how are my nightmares ever going to disappear. Especially when my nightmares are nothing but distant memories of what happened to me. So I'll ask again - how are my nightmares ever going to disappear? Well, thats the thing- theyre not.

Although i have been having these nightmares for years, i have yet to face the fact that i am stuck with the shit that comes along with it. However, i am not the only one suck with all of this shit. My future husband it suck with this too. Along with the fact that I'll never be able to fully trust him the way that i should, the way a wife should.

*

Years Ago..

"Hey babygirl." I heard my father say as he enetered my room. My mom was having a girls nught out with her friends. I aksed if i could please go with her like a million billion zillion times, she said that it was for grown ups only. And i told her that i could not wait til I was all grown up like her.

"Hi daddy." I said to him as he sat down.

"You wanna play a game with daddy?" He asked me as he placed his hand on my thigh.

"Of course daddy!" I said as i bounced up and down on the bed, excited that i finally had someone to play with. At three year's old, i had no one to play with besides my black Barbie dolls.

"Okay, now lay down for daddy babygirl." I did as he said. He spread my legs apart and pulled up my Dora tje explorer nightgown. He pulled down my underwear and he began to feel up on me. After he was done he kissed me down there.

"Daddy, are you sure you're playing the righr game?" I asked unsure, maybe he got mixed up.

"Of course, im sure. It's called my tongue game." After he said that i felt his tongue. Well, i guess he right. After he was done, he made do the same to him. I didnt know how to do it so he had to teach me. I was confused, but i guess this is how the game goes.

"Now La'Kiyah, I am the only one who is allowed to play this game with you," he said. "this is aaall mine." He said as he cupped my lady part- as my mother calls it. I shook my head okay. Something deep down inside of me told me that this was a very very bad game.

- This went on for lu' La'Kiyah up until she was at the age of six. Her mother brother wanted to take La'Kiyah to his house so that she could play games with his kids, since she was the only child and git lonely often.

"No mommy. I dont wanna go with him." She whined to her mother, tugging on her mother pants leg.

"Why not Kiyah? You don't want to play games ar your uncles house?" Karina didnt understand why her obedin daughter was acting in such a disobent way. She use to always conplain about not really having anyone around her age to play with Barbies with.

"Nooo mommy. He's going to make me play the same game daddy makes me play when your out. Mommy ion wanna play that game." La'Kiyah said as she shook her head repeatedly.

The poor six year old had salty tears streaming down her beautidu brown akinned face. She didnt want her daddy to be mad at her for telling their secret. She was scared shitless, he bottom lip trembled as he mother bent down to her level.

All she could think about was that her daddy wouldn't love her anymore.. all because she told her mother about their game. She didnt want her daddy to be mad at her.

"What game did he play with you La'Kiyah?" Her mother asked wiping away the stream of tears flowing down her daughter cheeks.

"I'm not suppose to tell you mommy. He said it was just our game. You or nobody else is allowed to play it with me. He did this," she cupped hersekf just like her father did that night years ago. "He said its his and his only his. He said jt himself mommy. He said that nibkdys supoose to do the things he do to me."

"You can tell me. Dady doesnt care. He loves me baby." La'Kiyah thought for a minute. Her mother was right, daddg does love mommy.

"Okay mommy. He said it was called 'my tongue game.' He made me do the same thing tnat he did to me to him mommy." That day she told her mother everything that happened from the first time it happened when she was only three up until now at the age of six.

*

After that day La'Kiyah watched as the police took her daddy away. She watched as her mother cried, burning her fathers clothes. The only thing they had left in memory of her dad was the two story house they lived in since La'Kiyah was born and the thousands of dollars he had saved over the years of being in the drug game.

Later that night when La'Kiyah asked her mother about where her father was, her mother told her that the game he played with her was very wrong. She said that no one was to play that game with her. Her mother also said that no man should touch her inappropriately.

-------------------------------------------------------------

So hey . This is my first book . I hope you guys enjoy . I been had posted this chapter, but wattpad did some shit so it had got all fucked up. But um. Im only human so i will make mistakes. I'll try to update as much and as fast as i can - only if you guys give this story attention.

Do not and i repeat do not copy my book or ideas. If you guys want me tk give you some ideas or want me to co-write i will be more than gald to do so.

Ingore any mistakes. And the quote at the beginning of the chapters are made by ME . Not all will be by me and if its not i will say so . Therefore if you do take those give me credit like frfr.