Her Book Of Sorrow

What you see is not really..

What can you see is not really what it is.

You may see me strong and brave but in depth of my heart I am fragile like a glass. I'm easy to break.

You may see me standing but my knees are begging. My feet hurts, my heel are red. I am slowly falling.

You may see me laughing but my heart knows it was not real. A fabricated giggle that came out, a lie and yet I called it a secret.

You may all see my confidence but behind that was voices telling me "I am ugly" "I am not enough" voices that pushed me to be vain and to be the queen Snow White hated.

You may see me being in love but I am not. I am just pretending to be in love because nobody in this world can reach the standards I set—even myself

I was drown with the persona I showed that I forget to be myself. That the longer I look at my reflection it refuses to connect with me. That even I, myself couldn't recognize who I am.

I was scared to show how weak I am that I changed my favorites. I am a lover of purple but that color looks weak so I changed it into black, I love marshmallows but it is cute and floppy so I changed it into pizza. I am a fan of mellow songs but it made me look sad so I changed it into hard rock.

You see.. I refused to be seen. I refuse to shine, I stayed in the dark and hide there. I chose to be the the stray planet. I chose to stay behind the clouds. I chose to be the thunder. I roared and cried but nobody cares because they were too scared to be with me.

What you see is not really who I am.

I chose not myself but the person I created.

And now—it was too late.