Third Wheeling For Dummies | on hold

twenty three

Ten pushes himself off the chair, accidentally knocking over a glass still full of water as he steps away from the table.

“Come on,” he frowns down at the pattern of water against the floor before pulling out a fresh t-shirt from the laundry basket and throwing it over the spill.

“Are you sure that's okay?” Jungwoo eyes the gray cloth warily, twisting his hands together in front of him as he stands a few feet away from the boy. “Isn't that sort of unclean?”

Ten dismisses him with a wave of his hand, pushing the chair back into position before turning to stand face-to-face with the blond. “It doesn't really matter. Just a shirt.”

Jungwoo watches him with an unquiet curiosity, because Ten isn't usually the kind of person to treat his clothes so roughly. There are circles under his eyes, not very noticeable against the tan skin, but for someone who sees Ten on an almost daily basis, the difference sticks out like a sore thumb.

He's not wearing a jacket despite the cold weather, even if they're inside his relatively warm house, and there's not even an attempt to conjure one of his wily, elfin smiles as he walks past him towards the couch. It's been six hours already, and this is the only time Jungwoo's actually come downstairs to see his friend not connected through a console to the television screen.

Are you okay?

He wants to say the words out aloud, but they seem stuck in his throat. Maybe Ten wants some space instead of having Jungwoo pester him about his state of affairs. The last thing he wants is to make it worse.

So he tells himself it's fine. He'll be back to his loud, McDonald's-loving friend in a couple of days. His unnecessary questions are totally uncalled for.

Instead, he makes his way to the couch and sits down beside him carefully. Ten sets up the game again, blinking hard as if to get rid of the stars probably dancing in front of his vision from non-stop screen time.

“How's Jae?” He asks, and Jungwoo is too flustered by his sudden question to notice the blandness of his voice, the lack of interest or anything even remotely teasing in his expression.

“Uh, she…” he starts, but it's awkward even getting a word out about her, especially since the offer. “She's okay. Or pretty...pretty nice. I think.”

The second warning he misses is the absence of reaction from Ten. “How are things going with her?”

Jungwoo bites his lip, still mulling over the offer at the back of his mind. He hasn't answered her yet, and secretly knows that he wants to say yes, but for some crazy reason, doesn't know how to.

“Okay? I think.” He sighs heavily, eyeing the gameplay in front of him and slowly forgetting about how Ten seems completely out of it. “It's so hard to figure out what I want sometimes. Having been a third wheel does mean I’ve been able to watch from the sidelines, but it also means I have no idea how to actually express myself.”

Ten's eyes are still glassy, but his slender fingers working on the controls as if they have a mind of their own. His shoulders are tighter, and he's leaning forward more, but Jungwoo fails to notice that and how his glazed-over expression seems more forced than natural. The blond feels a bit better now that he can say something about the situation to someone who isn't a pre-teen, the relief making up for a lack of reaction from his friend.

“It's better not to be tied down rather than to be in a relationship or not be in one,” he goes on, thoughtlessly lost in his own mind. “You have it easy.”

“Goddamn, will you stop talking?” Ten yells suddenly, throwing down the cosole and turning his red-rimmed eyes towards the wide-eyed boy next to him. “I'm trying to play here, but you keep jabbering on about all the problems that you have in your life instead of considering a better time,” he sneers. “Not everyone wants to hear about how you missed the sale, Jungwoo.”

The change in his demeanor is abrupt, not unlike Ten, but able to take even those by surprise who are generally used to his mood swings. This isn't the first time the blond has seen him fly into a temper moments after a prevalent calm, but it's usually restricted to losing a game.

Jungwoo is undeniably startled, and a little confused, because he definitely wasn't talking about a sale. But then, he decides it's probably one of Ten's unlikely metaphors. He wants to point out how it was the latter who asked him about Jae first, but he pulls himself back, thinking about how Ten never really asked him about anything more than how things were going.

Maybe—his stupid worries weren't batteries-included.

“I don't have it easy, but I guess you're too wrapped up in your own world to notice that,” the boy continues, the sweetness of his voice now sharp and bitter. He's close to losing the game, but for the first time in forever, Ten doesn't seem to notice that. “I have to take people's shit sometimes. And no matter how hard it is, you have to learn to take it, too.”

He gets up from the couch, stepping over the cord (wireless is for pussie when you don't have it yourself) and away from the couch. Jungwoo stares after him, knowing that he should stop him and say something, anything, but the words don't come.

“Next time, learn to man up and face your problems yourself,” Ten says just before he reaches the stairs, not looking at him, his facial expression now more pained than angry. If anything, he looks indignant. “If you make a mistake, own up to it. It's your own damn life.”

Jungwoo blinks a couple of times to clear the haze in his mind, regretting his decision to remain silent as the ravenet stalks up the staircase. He sits still in his place, only flinching slightly when he hears a door upstairs shut with a bang. Did I just get lectured by Ten?

He still feels a sense of bewilderment at his sudden outburst, not seeing his mistake but seeing it at the same time. He should've asked him what was wrong. Should've been a good friend. Should've paid more attention to what was happening.

With a sigh, he gets up, staring at the animated screen in front of him, and walks over to switch it off. Repeatedly, he tells himself he has to stop being so self-absorbed, and to be a better friend to Ten. He isn't the only one with problems.

Jungwoo feels an immense sense of guilt as he walks out of the front door, not even bothering to tie his shoelaces. There's no way he can afford any sort of relationship right now, not when his friends need him. He's not going to abandon Ten.

He isn't the only one with problems.

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she finally updates

SORRY, i just had zero motivation to write this in the past few days, since i was focusing on rush so much, and the two plots are poles apart. once again, i'm so sorrY

hopefully i'll be able to update more after this?

love,
Manx.