EUDEMONIA

5. Butt sex?

As Cam discloses the details that he remembers from Friday night, all the small details start trickling back into my memory. There's no way I can look him in the eyes, knowing that the two of us were humping a little over 50 hours ago. There's just no way. I look at the floor as he finally gets to the part of the night where we actually hooked up, unable to sit still on my piano bench.

"And then you brought me up stairs, and... we did it," he coughs out as I look up to see him blushing bright red. I can't help the small snort that comes out, partially because of how awkward Cam is about this situation for someone who hooks up on the daily, and partially because 'we did it' is the understatement of the year.

We had a moment. Both of us know it, but neither of us seem to able to approach the deeper implications of what happened, and now that I'm sober and remembering everything, I don't know what to do.

Something suddenly comes to my attention, "Wait, we, like, did it did it? Like..." I blush all the way to my toes before finally getting my words out, "Butt sex?"

I truly can't remember anything after he pushed me onto the bed, so I'm still confused about how his boxers ended up in the bed: last I remember, his pants were still on.

Cam's head snaps up, his expression unreadable, and then he bursts into laughter.

I blush again, realizing how prude my question sounds.

"Yeah," he says once he recollects himself, looking me in the eyes for the first time since he started talking about our... encounter. "Butt sex," he laughs again, mostly to himself this time.

I can't even wrap my head around the idea. "I had a penis in my ass," I say, completely bewildered.

Cam rolls his eyes, "No, dumbass, I did." He starts putting his instrument away again, super casually, while my thoughts are reeling. Holy shit. I stuck my dick in my best friend, one of our school's famous womanizers.

"Uhm, sorry, I guess," I tell him, unsure what to say. I'm not even sure what I'm sorry for, I just can't find anything to say.

Even with his back turned to me, I can see his whole body stiffen, his shirt pulling tighter across his back muscles. Its crazy how I'm noticing all these little details about him now, probably because I'm uncomfortable about the situation, I guess.

He turns around to me, looking offended. "What are you sorry about? Huh? There's no need to make a big deal about this, what happened happened and we never have to talk about it ever again," Cam says in a hurry, grabbing all his things and heading to the door. He stops at the door frame and quietly says, "Hurry up. You'll be late for orchestra rehearsal."

***

I didn't end up going to rehearsal. Thirty minutes ago, it had seemed so important for me to find Ms. Edine and ask her about switching to main percussionist in the orchestra, but after that discussion, I knew that I couldn't sit for two hours ten feet away from him. Staring at his back and his bare neck and remembering Friday night and asking myself a million questions all over again.

I'm sitting in the car with Lili and my dad who's grilling me about why I'm not at rehearsal.

"It got cancelled, Papa," I tell him quietly and I see my two family members exchange a worried look but I ignore it.

The second I get home, I go up to my room and lock the door before crashing onto my bed. Lili knocks on my door two seconds later, "Hey, are you okay? Is it about your... situation?" I appreciate her trying to keep my hook up secret from my parents who can probably hear her through the house's thin walls.