Grant What I Wish

Grant What I Wish - Chapter 5. Decoy

Chapter 5. Decoy

A white flower grows in the quietness.
Let your tongue become that flower
-Rumi

Great Yarmouth
1194

As the boat neared the shore, a man in dark robes leapt easily from the prow and, grabbing the side, towed the boat up onto the wet sands of the beach. He then turned and extended a hand to help a lithe figure swathed in identical robes to step from the boat and onto the shore. The young woman lifted a hand and, lowering the mandeal from her face, inhaled a deep breath of the salty air. She was home, Marian thought with excitement. How green and garish it all was, after the subtle beauty of the desert! She reached down and picked up a handful of sand, letting the damp grains slip between her fingers, reveling in the cool wet feeling-so alien to the desert sand yet so familiar that she felt quick tears spring to her eyes. She was home! England at last!

The trip over land and then on the sea had been long, tedious, and blessedly uneventful. She had bid Ashraf and Yousef a tearful farewell in Cairo. Yousef had held her in his arms for several moments, his face a cipher to shield his emotions from her. Ashraf had kissed her gently and bid her safe journey. She had left them abruptly and run down the gangplank onto the ship, not wanting to cry in front of these men and shame them and herself. She was a warrior now!

As she had leapt lightly onto the deck, she had heard the quiet footfalls following her and turned to find Ma'mun and Imad just behind, inscrutable looks on their faces. From now on, wherever she went, they would be close at hand. She felt immensely comforted-they were her advance and rear guard, and she knew that they would give their lives to protect her. Such were Ashraf's orders and his influence. She had smiled at them, and proceeded to her cabin to rest.

Thus had the voyage begun, one where she spent the lion's share of her time below deck since she was the only woman onboard the ship. On clear, warm days, she would venture above board and sit in a far corner, out of sight and apart from the business of the busy ship hands. She had time to think and reflect, and found her thoughts returning constantly to Gisbourne.

One memory in particular stood out in her mind-the time he had discovered that she was the Night Watchman. She had truly feared for her life that day, and in the raw emotions that had emerged in her encounters with Guy, she had revealed much of herself to him, as he in turn had revealed himself to her. Closing her eyes, she had leaned her head back against a crate behind her and fallen back in time. As the cries of the seabirds and the sound of the ocean disappeared in the background, she imagined herself once again in a small room at Nottingham Castle where she had been held prisoner.

"Is it such a crime to follow my heart," she had cried out.

Guy had rushed forward impulsively and knelt before her to exclaim with agonized passion, "The way that I followed mine-and always to your door! Marian, why did you have to put me in this position? Did you ever once understand what I was feeling-or thinking?" Hearing the pleading tone in his voice, his face lost all expression and he stood, continuing in a remote voice, "When you left, I thought I had lost you for good. Perhaps it would have been better if I had."

She remembered having steeled herself for her execution, only to find that Guy had put into motion a plot to turn suspicion away from her. When she had thanked him for his intervention, he had enigmatically remarked, "You don't know me as well as you think" before leaving her. Perhaps she had not known him at all. Perhaps she still did not.

During her long days and nights crossing the Mediterranean and the open sea, she found herself with countless hours in which to dissect her relationship with Guy, and to think of her role in that relationship. Since the day she had told Ashraf about Guy, she had continued to rebel against Ashraf's judgment, brushing it aside like a swarm of troublesome gnats; however, more times than not, she experienced a burning shame at the truth of his pronouncements. She had a debt to pay to Guy for her false words and deeds-how to pay it was what occupied her thoughts. Now that the voyage was over and she was back in England, she was no closer to a solution than she had been at the start of the trip.