Becoming Lauren Campbell

Chapter 1: Advice

Lauren's Hotel Room – Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel – 2am

Lauren sat on the floor with her back against her hotel room door, numb. Her black heels were tossed in front of her, unraveled and toppled over. She sat in the dark, staring at the moonlight filtering through the sheer drapes dancing in front of her window. She blinked slowly, inhaling a sharp, painful breath. A soft breeze crept in, wrapping itself around her—giving her the hug she desperately needed. She pushed her hand through her hair, letting out her breath. "How could I be so stupid?" She asked herself, covering her face with her hands.

Malcolm dropped her off an hour after their mini photo shoot at the after party, not bothering to press on about what was bothering her. During their ride from the theater to the hotel, she stared out of the window as if trying to drift away from her thoughts to a peaceful place where she could just write out her woes and send them away. Once Malcolm arrived at the hotel, he pulled over, lingering in front of it. Lauren didn't move initially. She sat there clutching her award. She then turned to him and gave him a soft smile, thanking him for the ride. But although she was smiling, Malcolm knew that she was in pain—a pain that would only get better with time. After a minute or so more of their lingering goodbye, Lauren and Malcolm parted ways. Now, she was in her hotel room wondering where she went wrong.

Her phone vibrated, dancing across the floor beside her. She looked at the screen, frowning at the name: Quincy. What could he possibly want? She stared at her phone as it lit up again with two text messages from Quincy. She focused on the second one, feeling her anger building.

Quincy: Please answer the phone. I just want to talk.

Quincy: You were never second best.

She slid her phone across the floor, not caring once it hit the wall. She kicked her legs out in front of her in frustration, knocking her shoes across the floor a bit. She rested her head against the door, letting out a groan. She sniffled, shaking her head. Second best my ass. That's exactly what I was, you don't have to lie, she thought. "Just more lies." She mumbled, standing up. She walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. She reached over to the lamp, turning it on.

The light lit up the room a bit better than the moonlight. She blinked a few times, letting her eyes adjust to the sudden change of brightness. She looked at her Emmy sitting on the bedside table, beside the lamp. She stared at it. She had so many emotions, none she could verbalize. All of the late nights spent working late in Naomi's Writers Studio and the countless hours on set had led to this moment. She'd imagined this moment dozens of times but she never expected to feel this way, to be draped with such pain and emptiness. She picked up the statue, holding it in her hands. More tears ran down her face as she held it close to her.

She sniffled, resting her chin on top of the statue. She let the silence consume her as pieces of her hair landed at her temples. She didn't even bother to reach up and tuck the strands behind her ears. She just closed her eyes, trying not to think about anything. The past year flashed through her mind, showing each moment from beginning to end like a train crash she couldn't turn away from. She felt the pain. That was real and consuming, as if it was burning her from the inside out.

Lauren took in a deep breath, feeling the air filling her body. She was quiet, slowly breaking into a million pieces as the seconds passed. The sound of two knocks on her door pulled her from her thoughts. Her head shot up almost as if she'd forgotten that she was sitting in a hotel room. She stared at the door for a few seconds as the knocking sounded again. She sniffled, looking at the time. 2:15am. I'm not expecting anyone, she thought, hearing another knock.