FanMail | Malum

^Two^

Already over 500 reads I just

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Dear Ashton Irwin,

ITS A CHOCOLATE MILK PARTY, ITS A CHOCOLATE MILK PARTY

Ur a kangaroo tbh,

Mara T.

Dear Mara T,

It is a chocolate milk party indeed.

You Bet your hippos ass I am,

Ashton Irwin.

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Michael's P.O.V.

I wake up in a jolt, another nightmare causing me to peel my eyes open in fear. I'm blinded by the sight of sunlight peeking through my windows. It sickens me. I sigh, feeling the same heavy feeling On my chest that I feel every morning. The feeling of ache, and hopelessness. And for no fucking reason.

Depression sucks.

Life sucks.

School sucks.

I suck {Cal's D ayee}

And the struggle it is to get out of my bed is harder than the Hoodzilla itself. I lay still, hoping I can just stay home today.

"Michael honey? Get up, it's time for school!" My mum yells up the stairs, and I sigh. No thanks, I'm good. I decide to voice that opinion;

"OR NAH!" I click my tongue, hopefully loud Enough for her to hear. I could almost vision her shaking her head in dissapointment right now.

"MICHAEL GORDON CLIFFORD GET YOUR ASS UP YOU LAZY BALL OF-" I grumble, mumbling incoherently, and climb off my bed reluctantly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm up." I grab my phone off my dresser, and log into Twitter knowing Calum's usual morning tweet would cheer me up. As always; it does.

@Calum4STF

'Awakard moment when your mum catches you wanking, and all u reply with is 'oops' #Dontbeathesausage'

I laugh, and start to get dressed. Maybe this day wouldn't suck after all.

~+~

I was wrong.

"Swallow it, faggot." James dunks my head back in the toilet before I can catch my breath. The disgusting water gushed down my throat, as he clutches my neck forcing me to swallow it.

Swirles are not fun.

"This'll teach you to stay alive, you dipshit. God ought ta be ashamed of you, and your ways." He slams my head against the toilet seat, and I cry out in pain. I can feel it bleeding, but he does nothing to stop his actions.

"P-please, James. L-let me go," I beg. He chuckles, and presses a hard kick to my shins. The bathroom door opens then, and I can hear the voice of vice principal Krane ringing Through the stalls;

"Clifford? Price? What the hell are you doing In here? Fucking?"

"Ew, no Krane. I was simply 'dunking the gay out of him'." James defends himself, finally letting go of my collar and backing away. Krane just stares at Me a moment, before clearing ring his throat;

"Well it doesn't look like it worked," he says, gesturing towards my faded pink vans, and over sized sweater. I'm punk rock, I swear. Krane shakes his head one last time before leaving the bathroom with a sigh. He acts as if he suffers from rotten testicle disorder, damn. James smirks at me one last time before leaving the bathroom himself. I, however, sit in the corner of the bathroom floor, shaking and crying. Nobody wants me here, so why the fuck am I still alive? I hold my head with a paper towel, trying to stop the bleeding. My phone beeps in my pocket then, and I pull it out to reveal a new tweet from Calum.

@Calum4STF

'If people act like shits to you, they are shits. Simple as that.'

Sure, it didn't make sense but the fact that it was Calum made my lips twitch into a small smile. I was holding my head with a paper towel to stop the blood from gushing out of my head, and it seems to have stopped. Feeling a bit dizzy, I slip my phone back into my pocket and stand up. I stagger out of the bathroom, and begin to walk down the hall to third block. When I'm almost there, I hear a voice calling out to me out of nowhere.

"Psst! Clifford, in here!" The familiar voice whisper shouts to me from what's obviously the Janitors closet. My heart rate picks up, and I put my head down and continue to race down the hallway. "I see you Michael!" I sigh, defeatingly. Rather not get worse of a punishment. I walk to the closet, and he grips my wrist and pulls me in. He flicks on the light, and I'm greeted with his usual Electric Blue clouded with Lust. Great.

"Hi," I mumble Shyly. I pull my sweater over my heads creating paws, in attempt to hide recent scars.

"Hello, princess. Miss me?" He asks in a tone that I'm not in the mood in. I just tasted shit water for fucks sake!

"Yes, Shawn." My boyfriends of two years now grins, and places his hands on my waist.

"Good," he whipers, scanning my body in such a way that made me feel more exposed, and flat out worthless than I already felt.

"Not in the mood," I mumble, and he growls. No not today, please not today.

"Ahhh, sweetheart. You think you have a choice."

And this time there's no tweet from Calum to save me from the touches and pain Shawn gives me.

•+•

When I get home from School, there's no car in the parking lot (as per usual) so I run upstairs straight into my bathroom and throw up until there's nothing left.

Why am I still with that dick of guy, you ask?

He's the only thing I even have close to loving me.

And besides, I don't have a choice remember?

With much struggle, I manage to pass my blades, already having lost enough blood for today. I sit down at my desk, and pull out a stationary and pen. There's already dried blood prints, and wet tears staining the whole thing. My hand is shaking, and I legitimately have to turn on an album from 4 Seconds til Fall themselves to keep me from doing something stupid. I have to stare at posters, think about my Otp, Cylan. Most of all, I have to think about Calum. Calum and how I don't fucking know him personally, but how's He's my everything. How his eyes crinkle when he laughs, and has saved me from myself. Calum. Calum. Calum.

Dear Calum Hood,

Never have I ever wanted your lips on me then right now. To be able to hold you, and call you mine.

Too bad that'll never happen.

I'm too broken for you, and your fame.

This is fan love, not real love. A

At least, that's what I'll keep having to tell myself.

I hate you, but I don't,

Michael G. Clifford.

That was the first letter I never sent out.

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Who am I kidding, I couldn't stop myself from working on this :))

A out look on Mikey's sad life. Hopefully CalPal will save the day.

Thoughts so far?

~DD❤️