everything was gold

the past is past

his elbow was on the desk, pencil in hand. maybe if he pretended to pay attention and nod whenever the teachers spoke, he'd get by.

a few more minutes, and he was lost in thought. soon, chewing on his eraser.

come on, stay awake!

and...nope. he'd fallen asleep on his English literacy notebook.

a classmate gave Dan a sharp jab in the arm. "Wake up, before Mrs. Nickleson notices." when he looked up, Dan saw a boy with dark hair and marvelous eyes. a face he'd seen one too many times.

"Yea, yea. Got it," he sighed. he smiled sarcastically at the boy, rolling his eyes, and turned his attention back to the front.

"You sure you're okay?" the voice came from none other than Phil Lester. the only person to ever voluntarily speak to Dan.

"Well no duh, Sherlock. Not dead, so it looks like I've accomplished plenty," he spat at the pestering boy.

Phil held his hands up in defeat. he mumbled a quick "sorry" before forgetting it ever happened.

once class was nearly over, everyone was talking to their friends and ready to go home. as usual, Dan sat alone. he got in a few more pages of a book and packed his bag.

surprisingly, he felt eyes on him. he turned to the side and saw Phil, smiling widely. he was full of life. they were quite different, now that Dan thought about it. Phil's face was full of color and happiness, while his was sullen and darkening.

he hated to find him beautiful.

confused, he asked, "what's up?"

"Nothing! It's Friday, you should be celebrating. Any plans for the weekend?"

"No," Dan admitted. "Never really do."

"Oh." He sounded a bit defeated. When they made eye contact, Phil's normally bright eyes were soaked with pity. "Why not?"

he grabbed his backpack and began to leave.

"Because I don't have friends. And I don't need them, ether," Dan said.

Phil gave him a sideways look and giggled. "You're pretty funny, ya know?"

Phil followed Dan towards the door as they walked home. He struggled to catch up. Dan sped walked, trying to cut him off.

Fully serious, he said, "No. I don't know. And I don't understand why you're bothering to talk to me."

"Ouch. Why so bitter? I just wanna know how you are. It's been ages since we last talked."

being neighbors and all, this kind of made sense. but not fully.

eh. why not? it's not like we'll ever be friends, anyway.

"Sorry. I guess I'm not used to normal conversations. I'm mostly fine," Dan said.

he smiled a broad smile and his nose crinkled. he swore he felt sunshine radiate off of Phil's persona. "That's great! Guess you're still the same old Dan from next door, huh?"

something about it made Dan think.

he thought of the crashing.

the fighting.

his reflection in the golden shimmer of his possessions.

his tear-stained face staring right back at him.

hands on his face, shaking with every second.

his mother driving away.

the rain falling on his shoulders.

and he fainted.