Working Title III: You Meddling Mortals

Chapter 1 - You'll Be Happy I Thanked You

Her hair was matted and sweaty, even though she did no walking, being carried on her cohort's back. The sun beat down on her and her orcish compatriot seemingly harder and harder with each step. The thin lining of fur on her body didn't allow for much heat to escape either. Conversely, her orcish companion seemed to be unphased.

"Bon Qui-Qui..." she panted andpulled at the collar around her neck. "Could we have a rest, please? It's really hot and I'm sweating and..."

"Oh Patches." Replied Bon Qui-Qui, turning her head to face the exhausted Catfolk on her back. "We're almost there! And the sooner we get there, the sooner you can get those mats out 'cho hair!"

Patches let her head fall into the back of Bon Qui-Qui's neck. Her forehead nested perfectly between Bon Qui-Qui's bulging trapezius, covered in thin, forest-green skin. Patches often found herself wondering how the sun never bothered Bon Qui-Qui as much as it did her. She never sweat save for the hottest days it seemed. "You're right." Patches mumbled. The sun continued to bear down on her. She reached into her pack and pulled out her canteen. Bone Dry. She closed her eyes and as if on cue, she heard it. The soft gurgle of a babbling brook.

"Do you have any water left in your canteen?" Patches asked. "Nope!" Bon Qui-Qui replied cheerfully.

She kept walking. Patches hopped off Bon Qui-Qui's back. "Well where you going now?! I thought Bon Qui-Qui does the walking so you can keep yo' feet nice an' smooove for all the meeeeeeeens?" Patches turned around. Bon Qui-Qui smiled smugly.

"I don't want to ask you to stop for water if you don't need any, so why stop you? We'll keep walking, I'll stop at this creek, and we'll keep moving."

Patches heard Bon Qui-Qui's footsteps halt.

"Keep walking, I'll catch up."

"Nope, it'd be mah luck that I walk away and sumthin' ugly happens to po' Patches. Then I'd be all alone."

Patches submerges her canteen in the river until the bubbles stop. She brings the bottle to her lips. Cool and refreshing, as expected. She steals a glance to her right and sees Bon Qui-Qui doing the same, almost happily. Patches often wondered about that. From what she'd seen Orcish types were sort of...aloof. Not because they were somehow less intelligent like so many she'd met had thought, but because their hobbies always seemingly involved repeated blows to their head. Bon Qui-Qui, beautiful as Patches always told her she was – all 7 seven feet and 300 pounds of her dreadlocked near-zero fat body, seemed to tune out at any given opportunity.

It was comforting. No one needs scrutiny from their hired muscle.

Wordlessly, Bon Qui-Qui continued walking and Patches took a jogging start and hopped onto her back. Quite a sight, a 5-foot tall on-a-good-day catfolk sitting on the shoulder of a towering female meat mountain.

"How long are we planning to stay in Drywind?" asked Bon-Qui-Qui.

"I'm not sure." Replied Patches. "We have to get there first."

Bon Qui-Qui nodded her head as if to say "Fair point."

"Probably until business dries up, like normal."

Bon Qui-Qui sighed.

"All this walkin' and we never seem to get nothin' out of it save fo' a nice place to sleep while you're workin!"

Patches was suddenly aware of the heft of her coin purse. Perhaps she should give Bon Qui-Qui a raise.

"What happens to all the money I give you?"

"I send it home! I told you befo'! My parents are too old and sickly tuh work and feed themselves so I gotta help them before I help me!"

"How would you help yourself, Bon Qui-Qui?"

"I'd well...I'd do like how you do. I'd have days off and find me a hobby!"

"What would your hobby be?"

Bon Qui-Qui stopped. Silence hangs in the air.

"Fishin'."

"Fishing?! Why didn't you tell me?! We can take a day to go fishing I have all kinds of clients that could take us out on their boats and – "

"Nope. No clients. No mens. No fancy boats. Jus' me, my fishing pole an' you if you wanna."

More silence.

"We can do that. We'll have a day off. No clients. No work."

Bon Qui-Qui cranes her neck to meet Patches' gaze. "I'd like that, Miss Patches."

"Don't call me that! We're coworkers!"

"Right! Partnuhz!"

Patches rests her elbow atop Bon Qui-Qui's head and rests her head in her palm. While the forest around them was slowly getting more and more dense, they seemed to be getting nowhere. "Are we going to get to ForestFall today Bon Qui-Qui? Or do we need to set up camp?"

"We gon' get there today, we gon' be late. Maybe enough time befo' all the kitchens close."

"Onward, then!" Patches declared. "I really want a steak at the end of today!"

"Steak fo' you, steak fo' me..." Bon Qui-Qui began to rhyme. She stopped, again.

"Bon Qu-Qui, what is it?"

"Steak fo' three..." Bon Qui-Qui quietly whispered in the same sing-songy toe she started in.

"Three what do you –" She saw it. A figure in the forest. To the best of hear knowledge, clad in brown leather armor. Looking to be crouching in a tree stand.

"We see you! You're not – You're not sneaky!" Patches voice shook. Bon Qui-Qui massive right hand lazily gravitated toward her mace.

"Leather man, show yourself." Bon Qu-Qui commanded in a voice of stone.

The figure slinked from his forest stand and drew itself onto the path. Looking up at Bon Qui-Qui was a man, no, a boy. Clad in leather armor too big for him and carrying a bow easily his size. Despite his stature, Bon Qui-Qui noticed the beginnings of hairs on his face.

"What are them hairs hanging off yo' chinny chin-chin? Are they yours?"

The boy turns beet red.

"This is my forest! Th-these are my woods! And you're trespassing!"

"We passin', yes we are. But we ain't trespassin'...we didn't see any signs..."

"What have you heard about Orcs..." Patches voice trailed off. "...what is your name? You should always introduce yourself to pretty girls."

"I'm – I'm Sin! With two enns!"

"Well Sinn, with two enns. Have you heard of what the average Orc can do to the strongest human warriors?" Patches leans forward, pressing the question. The boy gulps, audibly.

"N-no! And I don't care! You're trespassing and now you owe me a fee! Adeline!"

On his command, a white dog of moderate size hops seemingly out of the thin air beside the path. She places herself between her master and bares her teeth, emitting a low growl.

"Yo' puppy dog. She's protectin' you. She don't wanna fight. And neitha du we." Bon Qui-Qui. Turns and begins to walk further down the path.

"You pay attention to me! These are my woods and you owe me!"

Patches turns on Bon Qui-Qui's shoulder to face the boy.

"Here puppy dog...fetch!" A small, limp cat appears in Patches' hand. She throws it overhand back down the path. Adeline, smelling the new prey, turns and pursues her new target.

"Addy! Adeline no! Addy come back!" His voice trailed off down the path, following Addy. As soon as Patches was confident he was gone, she called it back to her arms. And in that instant, she was gone.

"Thank you, Bon Qu-Qui."

"Fo' whut? He wuddn't nuthin."

"Eventually we'll run into someone who is 'something'...and you'll be happy I thanked you for all those times when we'd been running into nothing."

"If you say so, Patches."