SCENE 1
(PEDRO IS OUTSIDE STAFFORD MIDDLE SCHOOL, WAITING FOR HIS MOMMY TO PICK HIM UP. BOB AND HIS SQUAD COME OUT IN LEATHER JACKETS AND SNAP THEIR FINGERS REPEATEDLY LIKE THIS IS SOME LAME RENDITION OF "WEST SIDE STORY." THEY ALL APPROACH PEDRO)
Pedro: Hey guys, what's up?
Bob: Not much, MOMMY'S BOY!
Pedro: For one, I am very proud of my momma! Second of all, making fun of me for being proud of my momma is not very prideful of you (PEDRO SNAPS HIS FINGERS IN A DIVA LIKE FASHION)
Bob: Ha! Who needs stupid Pride?! Pride is for people who like stupid stuff like, like... uh, ummmm... uh, like, um, ALGEBRA! Yeah, Algebra! It's for those stupid smart people who are dorks and like Algebra, but it's STUPID! It's stupid just like your face! And like Pride!
Pedro: I'm sorry, but a lot of what you just said didn't make a whole lot of sense
Bob: Oh yeah, OH YEAH! Well you're ugly, and no one likes it when you talk because we're weird!
Pedro: Did you insult yourself?
Bob: What?! What was that supposed to mean, chubby cheeks?!
Pedro: You just said "because we're weird." That's insulting yourself, and all of your friends.
Bob: I didn't say that, I said "because you're weird!" You, uh... um, YOU WEIRDO! Right, guys?
(ALL OF BOB'S SQUAD MEMBERS NOD THEIR HEADS IN AGREEMENT WITH BOB, EVEN THOUGH THEY ALL CLEARLY HEARD HIM SAY "WE'RE")
Pedro: Okay, guys, I have to go. Have a Prideful day! (WAVES AND WALKS AWAY GLEEFULLY LIKE THE JOYFUL LITTLE BOY THAT HE IS)
Bob: WAIT!
Pedro: What? (PEDRO WALKS ALL THE WAY BACK)
Bob: We have to beat you up first
Pedro: Why?
Bob: I don't know! Cause you suck, that's why!
Pedro: That was highly contradictory
Bob: What makes it so highly contra... uh, WHATEVER YOU JUST SAID!!!???
Pedro: Because at first you said that you did not know, then you had an answer which in your own words was , "Cause you suck, that's why!" So you said one thing, then you kind of said the complete opposite.
Bob: You're an idiot. Let's beat this guy up!
(BOB'S SQUAD CHEERS IN A MANLY WAY AND CRACKS THEIR KNUCKLES AND ALL THAT TESTOSTERONE FUELED KIND OF STUFF CAUSE THEY GOTTA LOOK ALL TOUGH AND MASCULINE BEFORE BEATING UP SOMEONE, Y'KNOW?)
Pedro: Fine. I guess you guys should go ahead and beat me up, but before you do that, I just have to do one last thing real quick
Bob: What's that? Call your mommy and tell her to knit you a new blankie cause you peed all over your last one?
(BOB AND HIS SQUAD LAUGH OBNOXIOUSLY)
Pedro: No, THIS! (PEDRO RIPS OPEN HIS JACKET TO REVEAL HIS SHIRT THAT HAS P.R.I.D.E. WRITTEN ACROSS THE FRONT. A POWERFUL LIGHTNING BOLT SHOOTS FROM HIS CHEST AS HE YELLS TRIUMPHANTLY "PRIIIIIIIIIIDE!!!!" BOB AND HIS SQUAD ARE VIOLENTLY BLOWN AWAY INTO THE WIND BY THE MASSIVE VELOCITY OF THE LIGHTNING BOLT. A RANDOM GUY IN A GORILLA SUIT COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND GIVES THE CAMERA A THUMBS UP AND A NOD OF APPROVAL IN THE BACKROUND. PEDRO SMILES PROUDLY)
SCENE 2
(ALL FIVE PRIDE SUPERHEROS ARE GATHERED TOGETHER IN THE CAFETERIA. THEY ARE DOING DANCES THAT INCLUDE THE FUNKY CHICKEN, THE BUS DRIVER, THE ROBOT, THE SPRINKLER, AND MANY MORE THAT THEY WOULD REGRET DOING YEARS FROM NOW. THEY ALL DRAMATICALLY STARE INTO THE CAMERA AND START SINGING IN DULL, MONOTONE VOICES.)
