Kid #5 No, not at all!
Satan: Am I more attractive than him?
Kid #5 Yes
Satan: Thank you
Kid #5 No problem
Satan: I guess now is the time to finally introduce yourself. My name is Satan, I also go by Lucifer and the Devil. THE Devil. If your mother is divorced, I'm probably how she describes your biological father as being. I am an evil person, technically I'm a demon, but I feel a stronger connection to the human race. (THE GORILLA ENTERS THE ROOM, SNIFFS HIS ARMPIT, MAKES A LOOK OF DISUGUST, THEN JOGS AWAY) I have gathered the five of you in here today for one reason, and one reason only. To bring evil. Is everyone familiar with (DRAMATICALLY JERKS HEAD TOWARDS THE CAMERA) Pride?
Kids: Yes, Mr. Satan
Satan: Good, because I hate it with a burning passion. It's all nice and cheery, and encourages students to make the best of themselves, which is pathetic. So, we need to use our evilness to destroy it! We shall brainwash the students into destroying this school!
Kid #2 But we're not evil!
Satan: Well, Sweetheart, Congratulations! You're evil now! Go give yourself a pat on the back!
Kid #2 I'm afraid I can't do that, Mother said giving yourself too many rewards leads to vanity
Satan: Do it! Pat yourself on the back! DO IT! DISOBEY YOUR MOTHER! LET THE DARKNESS THAT RESTS IN YOUR SOUL RISE! RIIIISE! RIIIIISE! RIIIIIIISE!
Kid #2 Okay (AWKWARDLY PATS HER BACK)
Satan: So now that all of you are officially evil, you'll need evil names. (POINTS TO KID#1) Our acronym will be HATERS, because we hate Pride so much, and you'll be Heartless Harry.
Kid #1 Satan, this whole "being evil" thing sounds fun and all, but I just don't think I'm ready for it yet
Satan: Well get ready Harry, because this is your life
Harry: But I don't want this to be my life! I have so much to live for, I can't waste it worrying about my consequences
Satan: Oh boo hoo! Grow up, you big baby!
Harry: You can't do this! (STARTS CRYING)
Satan: I have done lots of horrible things. They don't call me the Devil for nothing. Next, (POINTS TO KID #2) You'll be Angry Angela
Kid #2 I'm not an angry person though!
(SATAN PUNCHES KID #2 IN THE FACE)
Satan: Are you angry now?
Angela: Yeah, because you punched me in the face!
Satan: Fantastic. Next, (POINTS TO KID #3) You'll be Terrible Todd
Kid #3 What makes me so terrible?
Satan: Your family members all hate you, you're failing all of your classes, no girls like you, and you've killed a man
Todd: None of those things are true!
Satan: Mess with me, and I'll make them true (GIVES THE CAMERA THE DEATH STARE)
Todd: Okay, I promise to be good by being bad
Satan: I like the sound of that! You (POINTS TO KID #4) you'll be Exhausting Evan!
Kid #4 How am I -
Satan: You will have no problem making people feel exhausted. Trust me on that one. Last but not least, (POINTS TO KID #5) You'll be Raging Ryan
