Change // c.h.

prologue

“Jordan, I love you.”

Did he honestly say that?  Say that he loves me?

“Calum, I…” I trail off, taking a deep breath and trying to calm my pounding heart.  “I thought we were friends.”

His brown eyes stare into mine, and his grip on my hand tightens.  “Can’t friends fall in love?”

I look away, trying to ignore the feeling of his warm breath on my cheek, the touch of his hand in mine.  “Calum, I love you…but like a friend.  Nothing more.”   I glance back at him, and the look on his face breaks my heart.  I’m sorry, I think sorrowfully.

 “Jordan, we’ve known each other forever.  I just can’t help but fall in love with you.  Please say you feel the same,” he begs.

I don’t know what to say.  Telling him the truth would break his heart, but saying anything otherwise would be a lie.  Yes, I’ve known Calum forever, and I love him so much, but he’s always just been a friend to me.  My closest friend, but a friend nonetheless.

“I’m sorry, Calum.  I care for you so much, more than anyone else, but I love you like a friend.”

“You could let me change that,” he said, a hopeful look appearing on his face.

“But Calum, we’ve always been friends.  Best friends.  Why does anything have to change?” I wonder.

He shakes his head, looking down at my hand in his.  His thumb started rubbing little circles on my palm, distracting me from his words.  “It’s because of you.  If you weren’t so…I don’t know, beautiful, funny, charming, so easy to fall in love with, nothing would have to change.  But it did, and now I’m in love with you.” 

I feel like crying.  “Calum, you’re my best friend.  But I don’t think you could be anything more than that.  I’m sorry, but…I can’t love you.  Not like that.”

Abruptly he lets go of my hand and stands up.  Walking to the far side of the room, he stands there silently by my picture window.  I wait a minute before getting up and moving closer to him, so that I’m standing right behind him.  I reach my hand up and set it on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.  And I truly was.  We had said long ago that nothing would come between our friendship.  And nothing had, until now.

“Jordan, do you know how hard it’s going to be to see you, now that I know you’ll never feel the same way?”  He said, not meeting my gaze.  Shrugging off my hand from his shoulders, he shook his head and turned back to the couch. 

I turned around in time to see him grab his phone and jacket from where he was sitting earlier.  “Calum?” I whispered, moving towards him.

“I’m sorry, Jordan.  But I don’t think we should be friends anymore.” He starts walking towards the door.

My heart drops at his words.  Surely he didn’t mean them!  “But Calum, we’ve been friends forever!  You can’t just end our friendship over something like this!”

He turns around, finally looking me straight in the eyes.  “I’m sorry, Jordan,” he repeats.  “It’ll be for the best.”  He turns around once more, opening the door.

Before he closes the door all the way, he whispers three words that completely shatter my heart.  Those same three words that have completely changed – and ruined – our friendship. 

“I love you.”