Sad Tragedy

Wonderland

Winter.
  And so comes the much awaited winter holidays that spreads out over two months from November till early January next year. While we final year students practically did not even have to report back to school back since mid-October given the end of our national examinations, it is still noteworthy to know that our implacably attitude of the school towards our extra curricular were of supreme importance and they wouldn't even budge to think of letting us poor souls go after suffering through such heavy and intense pressure, drama and just facets of physical and mental torture.

  However, it was well, extremely lucky of me to get away with this extra curricular thing since my I wasn't someone who attended it frequently in the first place, and even if I attended it (mostly being forced by teachers), I would just sit aside and stare into the most wonderful blankness ever, like seriously, I would be the most emo and lonely kid ever, sitting around in the corner, in absolute misery or whatever people perceive me to be — a quiet, gay and super effeminate loner with no one to go to for help except mostly and exclusively from girls. And no, I am not against girls or anything — don't get me wrong — I am super feminist and proud to be one, but you see, in my school girls are always viewed as some kind of servant to guys and somewhat lower class, and if guys to go to girls for help or make friends with them (which is what I precisely did), they're considered useless and weak, which I thought was super prejudiced and disgusting in this age and century. But since I was gay anyway, not that I told or announced to anyone about it, but because of my first relationship with a guy — who's now 'happily' dating that bitch of a friend — and yes I am still slightly salty about it but not as bad and intense as before since I am in a new one, one that defied perceptions and one that screams unconditional love.

  Oh, and on the topic of love and ex-boyfriends, it was rather hilarious and funny to see him get jealous at the sight of me and him together through my very publicised socials, and because I purposely did not remove or block him from it to get back at him, neither did he unfollow, which was expected since he was clearly intrigued to find out more about our post-relationship life which I mostly disregarded him for the most part since he was not brave enough to stand up for his own sexuality, what we had between us and his turning back on me for some girl who broke it all, a walking irony, really.

So, while waiting for our examinations results to be published predictably during the final two or three weeks of the holidays, the days leading up to it were, enchanting to say the least as it just gets more intense by the days, weeks or whatever you want to call it. Although the Winter holidays might have begun with me flying to America for a short holiday with my family, it didn't matter for a moment because my mind was literally and purely revolving around the thought of my boyfriend, who, by now and since officiation, were inseparable to any great extent. Even though visiting the great sites and taking in breathtaking views in America was second on my bucket list, it just didn't feel right or anywhere near satisfying or good. Don't get me wrong — I totally love and treasure every great moment I get to spend with my family but the thought of missing him, and isolating him back at home, only ever talking to him through means of pressing on a screen or seeing him through a screen was more daunting than anything. I don't want to exaggerate but yeah, the feeling of being so far apart from him even for a second was unbearable because you know, we've mustered such strong bonds with great intensity that doing the exact opposite of being closer to one another were mentally breaking. I just wished I could have brought him together with me on that trip, and make everything so much better, miles and miles better than my misery everyday in the hotel room or on long road trips to touristy sites.

Then, the five days of relatively mixed trip to America finally came to a conclusion with us boarding a severely early morning flight at two back home which took up a twelve to fifteen hours. In my mind, I was already springing up in unspeakable joy from the single thought of being able to see him and be close to him again, mixed with just the slightest of slight reluctance since I was leaving the land of the free, and simply an overall marvellous country. Landing on home soil and hearing this announcement — "... For citizens and permanent residents, a warm welcome back home. The time now is twelve in the afternoon. Expect clear skies and ground temperatures of up to 24 degrees. Once again, we thank you for flying with us and have a pleasant day ahead." gave me a sense of national pride and a moment of patriotism for a very brief second or two.