Finally booked my flight, it's due in a little over a month. Can't wait to finally be with her for longer than a week, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't shitting myself. I've resorted to worrying over all of the lame, little things that you only think of when you're panicking and you know you have to go somewhere soon. 'Does my breath smell? Should I get a haircut? Do my fat rolls look toned enough to resemble abs in just the right lighting?' This kind of shit hits you like a truck when you least expect and it's definitely unasked for.
I also forgot to mention that I'm developing health issues, so that's just beautiful timing. It's not cancer or anything crazy, just allergies that can be fixed with a daily pill. If I don't take it, then I basically turn into a plague victim. Not really. But my skin breaks out into an ungodly rash, I can't pet cats and I can't even eat cheesecake. That's honestly the worst part, I swear. Do you know what it's like to not be able to eat cheesecake? It's a sad, lonely existence.
Part of me is pretty excited to fly there and start my life anew, but another part is just full of fear. I think we all can relate to that though, 'What if I have an allergic reaction to eating pizza with too much cheese on it because I lack self-control, how am I supposed to say no to that, Doctor?' Yeah, we've all been there, you aren't fooling me.
I'll admit that it is pretty scary when you struggle to breathe and you can't sleep because you worry you'll die if you do, but worrying also makes it worse so you have to lay there until it passes and pretend that you might not die because otherwise, you may as well be tightening your own grip around your neck. At the end of the day, that's all you can do really. Just wait and hope.
Sorry me, I'm pretty shit at cheering us up. But I love you, and I love her, and I think it's just the price I have to pay for what I've been given for free in life. A supportive family, an amazing woman, a mostly-healthy body, and half a decent mind when it's actually trying to accomplish shit. Somewhere off in the distance, my lame ass might even see something bright shining off the horizon... hmm, guess I do have a lot to be thankful for, don't I?
Here's to us, you depressingly cheesy bastard.
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Redeye
HorrorA struggling writer in a long-distance relationship plans to fly across the country where his fiancée awaits him. He's in for a few surprises, however, as someone or rather, something, interrupts his plans. This journal-entry series often blends Ho...
