I have been dwelling on the feeling of missing him for quite some time. I was never romantic with him, however, I miss him on a personal level that goes with the affectionate love. Sure, I thought he was sweet and cute and I liked to be around him, but, I never made that known to him and he never hinted at that feeling. I built classes around times that we would see each other and then he left before the first half of the semester was over. At first, I thought that is was because he was depressed because that was his excuse before and he had just experienced the passing of a close friend the semester prior. It was not unlike him to skip class, even a week at a time. However, that week turned into two, and that turned into three. I wrote to a close friend in a letter that I enjoyed being next to him as he smelled good. Not in the cologne sort of way, but the way that people smell. He smelled homely, and it was nice. He was taller than me and seemed to respect women as well which is rare today. He was good friends with TS and me. His religious beliefs did not match up with mine and that is one of the reasons I did not pursue that relationship. He was older than me by five to six years but that did not seem to bother us being friends, as you typically gain friends of all ages while in college. I miss him. He has moved quite the distance and is attending another college and I worry that our paths have been cut away. I am greatly dishearted by this as I looked forward to seeing him per our classes. I liked that he was also the guy that did not have to act tough. After his the passing of a friend, he showed up for a group project and told TS and I the news. His eyes clouded over and my heart broke. I still do not know what to say when something like that happens and I need to. He works in the facility that I want to work in as well and we both had the same majors. He asked me to attend his graduation ceremony because he would be graduating a semester earlier than I, but with his absences in class and him dropping them entirely, that did not happen. His mom seemed nice as well. I never meet her in person but she seemed really beautiful and kind. He also had a better relationship with his mom than his dad. He was prior emo and liked the hot topic shirts and that was so nice to have something to talk about. He also seemed to be the type of person to seem genuinely interested in the things you liked and would engage in conversations about them as well. I always did try to invite him to young adults meeting but he never came to them. I did not want to seem clingy and pressuring him into it joining it. I am going to miss his smile and stupid jokes and the memes he would share. However, if our lives do not cross again, I will appreciate the time we did spend together and try not to forget it. I am still friends with him on social media (not that he posts anything). I will miss the friendship that once was.
I love you, but you are bringing me down.
