Just about as long as I can remember I've been bullied and called various names... and now it's coming back. I'm starting to Like the insults. It gives me a dark happiness. It's making me want to hear more, for my mind's saying 'go ahead. Keep making your jokes. See how funny they end up...for me' I feel like a dark energy is fighting me, and once again I'm losing the battle. I'll gain enough courage and happiness to push it away, and then one person will say something about me and there it is again, welcoming me into its night. And after I think for a minute....I decide it's alright to go. That's when the madness sets in. It's turning me practically into The Joker from Batman. I've had so many murderous thoughts that I don't even want to happen. You can't imagine the sorrow of seeing images in your mind of you brutally killing your best friends....and not being able to stop it. The thoughts only go away when they want to. Then, eventually you stop talking to your friends. You don't want to go through that mind torture anymore. That's when the insanity comes in. Now, I'm in my own world. Where killings are as common as people, screams as peaceful as laughter. Love as forgotten as me....
I just wanted to say something really quick. I'm not an attention seeker, even though it looks like it. These are just my thoughts that I don't ever say. For all the people out there who actually care about a worthless monster, you don't have to. Pretty soon I know I'm gonna have a blade on my wrist...
