PROLOGUE

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(Lorelai Bervik)

I see this differently than I would have before. I see not my home in ruins, not the titans charging in; I see not the blood, the terror.

I just see change.

In my brief years in the cold mountain district, my world has been altered. What once was hot and brutal and passionate is now cold, unfeeling, and numb. My senses have been calmed since I arrived here; my fires have been put out by the snow in delicate flakes.

I'm used to pain now, to loss. To me, they are old friends.

So, I don't know why I think of you now, father. But perhaps because you are my last fire.

As I run and scream, I think of you instead of my home and all I am losing. My pain is a background hum in my ear, but you are everywhere at once. As I glimpse death and destruction, I can wish only for yours.

In my nightmares, I had dreamt of how I sprint now. I dreamt of my distant terror; I dreamt of me deserting you.

In my panic, I let myself believe that safety lies behind their Walls. I let my delusions fuel me to do what I must. As ever, lies are all that saves me.

My adrenaline keeps me from pain as skin is stolen from my palms and my bones are broken. In my worst hour, all I can do is save what I can and pray it's enough.

In my haste, I think not of my nightmarish plan, but still, I act, blind to my actions. I think, blind to my thoughts; I see, blind to my sight. My body moves without control, my desperation having replaced my mind. But I sweat, I breathe, I bleed as I keep fighting.

For what seems like the second time, my world is ending.

But I still feel my feet pounding as they drum against the earth; I still feel the winter's wind at my cheek. The world keeps spinning, however much I expect it to stop.

My life goes on, however much I wish it wouldn't.

I move in a haze until I stand on top of the wall, hordes of my friends, neighbours and family behind me. I am the only one looking back to our home instead of forward to theirs.

I turn, I awaken, as the snow melts, giving way to fire.

     I turn, I awaken, as the snow melts, giving way to fire

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Completed: 20/04/19

Published: 22/04/19

(Minor Edit): 17/11/19, 25/01/20, 25/05/20

(Major Edit): 03/09/19, 13/07/21

(Revised):


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