The Sound of Our Own Mortality

The First Fault

Here's my story.
THE FIRST FAULT
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The first fault. Ahhhh this fault starts with the origin really. One of them anyways.
Mama.
Mummy.
Mum.
Mother.
The truth is that the first part of my childhood was brilliant. I often look back in happiness and comfort at those memories.
But, I hate those memories.
I fear them. Because I know that they'll never happen again.
They make me happy for a split second, but then I get an unbearably painful feeling inside me that makes me feel sad and nostalgic. Because things will never go back to the way they were. The rifts are too deep and the scars on me forever break open.
It was around twelve or thirteen years of age that things started to change. I don't really know why. I was always a good child, with kind behaviour, soaring grades and a bubbly, open personality.
But she pushed me away.
She became close with my sister rather than me and turned on me whenever she could. She didn't respect my feelings anymore. She hurt me emotionally and it pains me to hear other people talk on and on about their perfect bloody families. To see motherly love that I never had.
Part of my hate was jealousy.
In jealousy is selfishness. She was selfish, so very selfish. It made me somewhat selfish.
Part of my hate was anger.
I realised at that young age that she had messed me up for the rest of my life.

Ignorant parents equals disgusting children.

It was always so confusing to me. I never understood why or exactly when she turned on me.
It's mostly the why.
I want to know why.

And the What, WHAT.
WHAT.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
WHY ME?

She loved my sister more than she loves me. I just wanted someone to love me for me.
My sister, I was on good terms with. But My sister was badly behaved and not as clever as I was. So what made her special?
Why am I the wrong one?
Anyway, she's the first fault.
Don't worry. She's still alive and well, so is my sister. And Dad he's good. I still talk to my family.
They don't know that I'm a murderer.
Which is good because I like having some of them there.
Which is good because then I can live my life.

She doesn't know how much pain she caused me.
I'm not sure if I should tell her or not.
We'll see.
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THE FIRST FAULT
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A/N
Heyyy
Please vote and comment!
Do you like it so far???
Not sure if I should continue with it or not.