The College Hook Up

Chapter Twelve

I laid in Marcus's guest room wanting to be alone. Marcus gave his mom a brief run down about what happened. I remember his mother's voice rising as she got angry. I remember hearing her say.. how could a mother do that to her own child..
      She wasn't wrong. But what she didnt know was that my mother was always like that growing up. Tears started to form in my eyes as I remembered my mother catching me looking at myself after she grounded me for God only knows what. At that age she grounded me for everything. But as a punishment for her catching me she made me sit at the table and watch myself cry, telling me all the things that were wrong with me...
         My relationship with my mother was always rocky. I remember when my mom chased after me when she found out that I went swimming after she told me not to... me falling to my knees begging... wishing my father would do something to stop her... but nothing happened. It was the same shit everytime.
        She would "black out" when she got too mad... and she would hit me.. leaving bruises. God.. I hated her so much but in reality I wanted nothing more than her approval.  I joined the cheer team just so her and I would have something in common. Just so she would notice me... just so...
         I noticed then I was sobbing into the pillow. God what was wrong with me. I always wanted her approval... always... and no matter what she never gave it to me.
         I heard the door creek open and a little voice said, "Amara.."
         I quickly whipped my face sitting up in the bed, Nailia joining me. She held me tight. Before I realized it Marcus came running in.
         "Nailia..." he whispered yelled then his eyes shot to mine. "Amara.." my name rolled off his tongue. God how I missed him.
          "Marcus." I said looking at him. God he looked amazing. I took in everyone of his features.. his toned muscles under a tee shirt. And his deep blue eyes seemed to be glossed. His smile could make anyone... I mean girl... melt seeing it. I felt like I was holding him back...
            We haven't laid in the same bed since I have been here. He kept his distance. Making sure that I was comfortable. He didnt want to overstep. There were nights where I wanted him next to me. Nightmares woke me covering me in a cold sweat. But not once did I climb in bed with him... I just needed time..
           Nailia smiled at her brother and got off of the bed, "Amara.. will you be happy again. My brother won't be until you are..." she innocently said causing me to look at Marcus as he tried to rush her out of the room.
         "Marcus." I said grabbing his attention. He looked at me and his face turned to a frown.
        "Yes, Amara." My name rolling off his tongue once again causing me to shiver. He stepped close to me but stopped. His eyes trailing down my body. Longing to touch me but couldn't do it.
         "Thank you... for everything." I said.
           He walked over to me and kissed my forehead, "anything for you." He then left the room closing the door behind him setting me back into the loneliness and depression. 

***

A few days later, I woke up to some loud music. I looked out my window seeing what looked like a family bbq. My eyes darted around trying to find Marcus but I finally spotted him. Some pretty little blond girl on his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck.
        I swore and got pissed. But realized I was being dumb. Did I really think he would wait.. wait for a broken girl like me. A girl who had not let the room in almost a month. A girl so broken her family didnt even want her. Tears formed in my eyes again. I wiped them away angry at myself for letting yet another boy ruin me.
         I showered scrubbing the layers of filth that sat on my skin. I slipped out looking out the window again, seeing the little blond smile at Marcus and laugh at something that he said.  A lace blue tank top with a white sweater, a t pair of black pants also slipping on a pair of booties on. I fixed my hair brushing it out  and put a small braid in my hair. I looked myself over and peeked out the window still seeing that girl sit on his lap. I huffed and then walked down stairs.
        Bri smiled at me as she pulled me into a hug, "oh honey." She said hugging me tighter.
        "Hey, Bri." I smiled as she pulled away. She looked me over before kissing my forehead. "Thank you so much..." I paused, "for everything you have done for me."
        "Oh, honey." She said pulling me into another hug. "You are more than welcome."
        "Bri, who is the girl with Marcus." I asked her causing her to turn and look where Marcus was sitting the blond girl on his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck. Something in me became jealous.  But I quickly snapped out of it remembering... Noone loves someone who is broken... you must be dumb to think he would wait... wait for a worthless piece of shit...
       Bri broke me from the thoughts, "he said it was someone from school... I didnt think twice about it... I'm sorry."
        I smiled at her, "it's not your fault. It happens."
         Bri frowned at me then, I started to progress towards Marcus, but Nailia stopped me, wrapping her arms around my knees.
         "Amara!!!" She yelled causing almost everyone to look.
  "Hello, beautiful." I said hugging her.  Marcus shot up causing the little blond girl to fall off his lap.
        "Marcus, what the-" she hissed then turned around looking at me. Her face fell like she knew who I was. 
         I looked at Marcus our eyes locking onto each other. He bit his bottom lip looking at me. God how I wish it was my lip between his teeth. My body begging to let him touch me... his body exploring every inch of my body.. making me his...
         I snapped out of it as Nailia tightened her grip on my legs. I bent down and smiled down at her picking her up at I did. I smiled at her putting my forehead to hers. I looked over at Marcus who was currently looking at me while the little blond tried getting his attention. He just shrugged her off and she stormed away.
         "Amara, I missed you." She said to me wrapping her arms around my neck kissing my cheek.
          "I missed you too." I said to her. One of the other kids called her causing me to put her down and she ran off.
           I looked at Marcis who was still staring st me like I was a foreign object. Bri called me causing me to turn around and face her. She smiled leading me towards where the food was. She smiled grabbing a plate and began to fill it up.
            "Eat up, Amara." She said and gave me a plate, "you need to eat up before you become more of a stick then you already are." She said making me laugh.
          "Your food is so good ill fatten right back up." I commented causing her to laugh now.
             "Hey," I felt a soft breath on my neck realizing the voice. I refused to face him as I put some food on the plate. Bri walked away from me with a smile as her sister called her over.
             "Who was the cute blond.." I asked before my brain even realized I said anything. Shit. "I wish I could have met her.. too bad she left so soon.."
        "Amara." A soft hand was placed on my arm causing me to shiver. "Let me explain."
        "You moved on." I shrugged trying to get his hand off of me. "Its okay, I dont blame you. I was dumb to think you'd wait for me to fix myself before I let anyone love me again... how can I have someone love me if I don't love myself.. I-"
         "Damn it, Amara." Marcus swore and grabbed my arm again, "will you fucking listen to me."
         "Marcus, I dont want to talk." I hissed throught clenched teeth, "go get that cute blond... obviously you move on."
         "Amara!" He hissed spinning my to face him, his face so close to mine. I knew people were watching us. I felt me heart begin to pound against my rib cage. One inch and his lips could engulf my lips.  He pulled me into the house and away from everyone else outside.
         "Will you fucking listen to me now?" He questioned as we stood in the kitchen. My plate sat on the island and Marcus stood close to me.
           I nodded.
        "She was just a friend from school." He said causing me to roll my eyes. He turned away as if trying to figure out what to say.
        "She looked pretty comfortable." I mumbled out causing Marcus to look back at me.
         "Amara.." he whispered my name his lips near my ear. Chills ran down my spine. God how my body craved him. His tongue flicked out touching my ear.
        Marcus pulled away to look at me in the eyes. His eyes flickered from his normal eyes to eyes full if lust and longing. A wicked smile kept on his face. I felt his almost fully erect penis against my stomach.  I'd be lying if I said that it didnt turn me on.
         Marcus took his hand next to my waist and placed it just above my pant line. He put the other one on the back of my neck. God. I closed my eyes taking in Marcus's scent. As soon as I opened my eyes, I felt a soft kiss on my neck sending more chills down my neck. The kiss started off soft, Marcus slowly slipping my jacket off my shoulders setting jt on the counter
         A small moan escaped my lips which caused me to jump bringing me back to what was happening. 
        "Who was she, Marcus?" I asked again totally ruining the moment.
        "You were locked away from everything, everyone... me. She is just a friend from school. Nothing happened. I swear." He looked at me his forhead pressed to mine.
        "Marcus, if you dont... don't want to wait..." I tried to force it out but I couldn't force it out.
        "Amara, please." Marcus said pulling away he turned away from me. "Amara,  please eat your dinner. You haven't eaten alot lately. Just try and eat then meet us outside."