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The Power of Letting Go

The Power of Letting Go

- Patricia Carrington Ph.D

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A Zen tale tells of two pious monks who were on their yearly pilgrimage through the mountains when they caught sight of a young woman by the edge of a brook. She had fallen from her horse and injured her foot. In the meantime her animal had wandered off, crossed the brook by itself and stirred grazing indifferently on the far bank.

Spying the two monks, the young woman hastily signaled to them and begged them to carry her across the steam, which she could not cross alone because of her injury. She was anxious to remount her horse and ride to safety before dark.

Despite the young woman's pleas, the younger of the two minks declined to assist her because of his vow of chastity which forbade him ever touching a woman. The elder mink reacted differently. Realizing how few travelers ever came this way and aware of the dangers that might beset the young woman at nightfall, he swiftly carried her across the brook, placed her in her horse, and made sure that she started safely in her journey home.

The two monks then resumed their pilgrimage. When they had traveled down the road a way, the younger one, becoming more upset each moment by what he had seen was finally unable to contain himself any longer and cried out to his companion, "I cannot believe what I saw! You broke your vow of chastity by carrying a woman in your arms!"

The elder monk turned to him and with a quiet smile replied, "But, little brother, I let go of her ten miles back!"

This is a human race. Like the older monk, we can sometimes respond to a problem by shedding our rigid ways of behaving so that we can handle the matter and go on from there.

We need to do releasing/letting go of a problem. We often push when confronted by frustration and that is self-defeating.

Releasing is a technique to use when you choose to handle a problem or improve the quality of a life experience. It is a means of creating a change in your habitual long term response to stressful situations.

Intention is an idea that serves to guide our actions. It makes it possible to organize our behavior effectively so we can move toward our goals.

Wanting is an emotional reaction. It involves struggle and emotion and can produce much stress. It may actually block our attainment of the very goals we strive for.

Letting go of wanting will clear your mind so that you can view the matter objectively and decide how best to achieve the goal.

Releasing can help improve your handling of difficult situations. It can change viewpoint, attitude, and physical state.

When you let go of wanting to change something, you allow it to change.

Letting go is a slow process. It needs a pure intention and the want from inside without force. When we let go of wanting to change something, we experience its true quality. Most things are interesting once we are able to experience them.

In each raindrop, we can see the whole sky.

Letting go can also be done by forbidding tactic. If you focus on not thinking about something, you are actually thinking about it.

Example - if you are angry, focus on being angrier and more frustrated, increase it more by the passing second. All of a sudden, you'll release because you won't feel that angry anymore.

"When you bury a feeling, you bury it alive."
The feeling might return in one way or another when you suppress it.

When we justify a feeling, it is no longer a pure feeling. It has become self-conscious. When we justify a feeling, its innocence and simplicity are gone.

When releasing on an emotion, do not act on your feelings.

A part of our mind, known as the 'monitor' often shuts down due to universal or personal triggers. During this time, releasing is an important aspect. Universal triggers include physical illness, accident, dangerous attack, security threats, intense thirst, fatigue, loss of sleep, and starvation. Personal triggers include job issues etc.

If needed, take timeout for the releasing process.

Approving of ourselves is essential to a happy, meaningful life, but when we are approving of ourselves, we are seldom aware that this is happening. If you feel uncomfortable about anything, it is useful to ask yourself whether the issue at hand involves seeking your own approval.

Striving too hard to get what you want can prevent you from getting it.

When we focus on wanting to change an adversary's behavior (wanting to make him do or say or think something different), we lose our balance.
When we let go of wanting to change his behavior and focus instead on our goals, we achieve balance. It is hard to topple a balanced person.

Fully accepting a situation can be the first step towards really changing it.

When learning Releasing, some people mistakenly believe that releasing on an argument means giving up on it. Actually, Releasing increases your options and allows you to recognize further possibilities for effective action. It can also give you the confidence to put these possibilities into action.

Releasing can be useful in furthering a career and can help you cope with the many frustrations involved in marketing your own talents. It can handle the inevitable rejections which have to be faced, and facilitate sound career decisions. It can also assist in a number of other ways, including helping you handle a need to overcontrol your destiny.

We don't always know what causes our triumphs!

When we are fighting the inevitable, we are not taking steps to change what can be changed. When we release this fight, we can move forward again.

Ways to Release on Evaluation Anxiety:

1. Release on wanting to control the outcome of your evaluation.

2. Release on wanting to control your own behavior in the evaluation situation.

3. Release on wanting the approval of others.