Sesshomaru x Kagome

Chapter 47: Moving Forward

Sesshomaru followed her back to Inuyasha's village, feeling as if everything was beginning again. It had been because of his brother that he had met her. It was his lack of power that had caused him to lose her. In the three years that she had been gone from their world, he had given in.

He allowed others to decide things for him. His mother had controlled his lands as he wandered, looking for a power that had been inside him all the time. He had allowed her and Takashi to arrange his mating with Sakura.

That had been a disaster and everything that had followed after it.

If he had been stronger than everything would have turned out for the better. He should have waited for her instead of allowing his mother to convince him to mate. He should have realized his feelings long ago. But he had not, he had simply thought it was lust.

He had never truly talked to her before she had become his. He had never thought that it was important because he thought he just lusted after her. He had been disgusted that he had lusted after her, a human.

He knew that a priestess could conceive a pure demon, all demons of the mortal realm did. It had never crossed that she would be strong enough to be able to; she had travelled with his brother. That alone made her weak in his mind until she showed him that he was wrong.

She showed him that he was a fool.

The people whispered about him as he walked through their village. He could not stop himself from comparing them to Kagome...they were all so lacking. The women could not hold a paper lantern to Kagome's beauty. The men were nothing but mere animals to her intelligence. All smell of feces, urine and old sweat; it all made him long for Kagome.

His mind took him to the moment that caught her scent in his grave. It had been clean and heavenly, something that had never expected from a human. It should have told him the truth.

The old priestess suddenly stood before him, stopping him there in the middle of the road. Her old eyes were filled with wary concern, which did not surprise him.

The villagers fell silent as she questioned him."Lord Sesshomaru, it has been some time since you last visited us. Are Kagome and her children well?"

"Kagome and our children are in hell," he informed gently.

The village erupted into shouts and concerned talk at his words. It only served to show him that Kagome had truly been an important person to the people of this village. She had been important to them even after five years. How many of these people had she known by name? Had she once helped them when they had been sick or had she saved them from demons?

He had not known how much he had truly taken from her.

"Please! Please! Everyone calm down!" The old priestess begged of the villagers before she turned to look at him. "I beg you, lord Sesshomaru...tell me what happened?"

"I will when we reach the monk and the slayer."

The priestess said nothing more and both she as well as Rin guided him to the couple's home. It wasn't long before they stood before the monk and slayer's home. The sight before him pained him deeply though.

Twin girls were playing with what could only be their brother in front of them home. The boy looked to be the same age as Mizuki if not a little older; it pained him so.

Seeing the boy tottering about between his older sisters was like watching Mizuki do the same with him. It made him ache to hold his oldest daughter or to hold any of his children.

But they were out of his reach because he had been weak. He had let his children down when he should have been stronger for them.

Tears came to his golden gaze at the thought of his children crying out for him. Crying out for him to hold them and love them in another realm that was inaccessible to him. He was their father, his heart was filled with love for them. But that love threatened to devour him with pain for failing to be a father to his children.