Walking Into Nothingness

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Authors note: If you are one of those facing a war inside of you or any problems in your every day life, i want you to know that you matter and every one loves you and cares for you. This story may contain triggers, so if you feel like that you'll get affected by it please do not continue reading.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Philippines Suicide Hotline: (02) 8969191


As he is walking in the dead of the night on his way home. Through the dark streets, lit only by the few post lamps that is still working.

His mind somewhere else, his shoes clicking as he steps through the pavement. In his arms his coat hangs secure as if saying he is tired mentally and physically, "How could a nice person like me ever hurt the ones I've loved, I have gone all over the possible scenarios. Each and every tiny bit of details I have perfectly constructed in my head, somehow there is still a flaw." Cameron thought of, then looked above and saw the bright lights in the nearest building.

Nearing his destination, he saw a pair of two young couple. One couple has the look of honeymoon phase all over them with their sweet kisses and affection, setting the mood. While the other couple is bickering over where to dine, ending with the young man getting slapped in the face by his girl. Cameron thought of her, "We would have been that one couple who is filled with love and affection for each other, only if I hadn't given up on us."


Entering the large yellow building he greeted the security, "Hey Don, how's it going with Emma?"

The man responded with excitement in his voice, "We're doing great and Emma just told me that I am finally going to be a father!"

Cameron half thrilled said, "Now aren't you fortunate to have found each other, for like one year and next thing you're married and having children! I'm glad to hear that, tell me more about the baby soon Don!"

With that Cameron climbed up the stairs, as he is in the mood to ponder rather than take the elevator to get to his unit faster.


As soon as he reaches the 14th floor the last floor in this huge building, he reaches for his keys in his pocket to unlock the door.

Greeting him with a low purr, Mr. Funkle his cat slide into his legs, "Hey buddy did you miss me? Like how I miss her so much, but I broke her; I broke the two of us. Still I ended being more damaged than I've ever been." The cat would only look at him with wonder.


He got dressed then looked into the balcony as the moon shined brightly tonight. He wonders if she still thinks of him. He thinks of how things went badly when they met to talk.

Easing the pain, he thinks of drinking the whiskey that is in the cabinets above his kitchen. He retreats inside and walks into the kitchen, taking out the bottle of whiskey in the cabinet.

He gets a glass and opens his refrigerator to get some ice cubes. Finally pouring the drink in the glass, he takes a sip of the bitter alcohol.

Nothing would mend a wound but a painful alcohol, as he needed to seal the wound in his heart. Staring again into the night sky with a pain in his chest, Cameron closes his eyes and replayed what happened that day.

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