Blended Family

Pippa

A week later, we got the letter in the mail.  Alex and Jack's grandparents were suing for 50% custody.  I didn't understand what they were trying to do.   They lived almost two hours away.  How the hell would we effectively share custody half time?  Depending on the arrangement, they'd be in a car four hours a week.  They might even have to change schools.  They were in a good place now and they didn't need that to be messed up.

Lin and I hugged in the kitchen, the letter open on the counter.  We were scared.  Scared for us, but mostly scared for Alex and Jack.  They were too young to understand what was going on.  We didn't want to cause them any unnecessary drama.  If their grandparents somehow won, we'd go along with it.  We'd put on a civil face and treat their grandparents with respect.

I contacted our lawyer right away and arranged a meeting.  This was his first time meeting Pippa, and he was straight forward with us.  We provided a stable, loving home, but nowadays biological family had more rights than before.  There was a chance we might lose this thing.

I was terrified of losing them.  They were our children now.  This was our family of six and we'd do everything we could to protect it.  Lin and I sat in front of the lawyer's desk together, holding hands.

"One of the protests they're making," he began.  "Is that the children are not in a stable home with married parents.  Not to get too personal, but I assume you are together and just not married."

Lin nodded, squeezing my hand.  "We're in a committed relationship.  Isn't that all that should matter?"

"In real life, yes," he acknowledged.  "But in a court of law it absolutely makes a difference.  A married couple is considered more stable than two people cohabitating."

I sighed and moved in my seat a little.  Lin and I loved each other and we were happy together.  I hated that this was a factor in the well-being of two innocent little kids.

"So are you saying we should get married?" I asked.  "That it would increase our chances of keeping them full time?"

"Not necessarily," he said.  "We can still prove you provide a stable home.  You have steady incomes, steady work.  You're already parents to two other children."

We spent the next hour coming up with a game plan.  We'd have our home environment officially evaluated.  We'd have Alex's preschool teacher complete an evaluation on her.  A child psychologist would meet with Alex and testify on her mental health.  We left the meeting feeling better about things, but still nervous.

The lawyer advised us not to speak with the kids' grandparents while custody was still in the air.  We followed their advice, even though it was hard.  Alex wanted to FaceTime with them but we had to keep giving excuses.  How was that healthy?  It made me even more frustrated with their grandparents because they'd brought all this on.

Lin and I laid in bed a few nights later, facing each other.  Lin was gently stroking my hair as he looked into my eyes. 

"Maybe we should get married," he said softly out of the blue.  I crinkled my forehead.

"Lin?"

"We love each other," he said.  "We're committed to raising these kids together.  Why not?"

"I'd rather not rush into things," I said.  "I don't want us to get married because it would legally help us.  I want us to get married out of love."

He reached down and linked his right hand with my left, fingering my ring finger.  "It would be out of love.  I adore you."

I didn't like where this was coming from.  Lin and I hadn't really talked about getting married.  We'd been too busy working our way through the circus of taking in two more kids, moving, and navigating the parentage of teenagers.  The only reason he was bringing it up was because of the legal proceedings.