Betrayed, Alone, Deceived, and Hurt.

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Ivan's Pov:

Sure, sure, America did tell me that he didn't like Japan, yet I saw them mid-kiss, but why did I feel so Betrayed because of it? Alone because of it? Deceived because of it? HURT because of it?  I had no clue. Why did this hurt so much? Why did it make me feel so emotional pain? Why did it... Why did it make me want to cut myself again..?

I was lied down on my bed, thinking about all the events that had unfolded. When I ran away, I ran in some random direction. After I calmed down a bit, I went back, around the park, and to my house.

I eyed the cabinet near my bed in which I kept my razor in. Should I do it? well, after all, wasn't it there to remove pain? Right now, whether I knew why or not, I was certainly in pain. Pain on the inside which it was necessary that I removed by causing pain on the outside.

I stumbled out of the bed and made my way over to the cabinet. I pulled open the door of it. I eyed the blade sat on the shelf of the cabinet. I eventually snatched it out and walked over to the bathroom connected to my room. I shut the bathroom door to make sure there were no accidental intruders.

I pulled down my long sleeve and eyed the bandages. I quickly cut them off with the razor and threw them away. I cut short strips down my arms, making new cuts instead of tracing my old ones. When I felt I was finished I laid the razor on the table and watched the blood flow. I watched it flow out of of my arms before falling of the skin and into the sink. I turned the water all the way up and let it wash away the blood in the arm and sink.

I turned off the sink and pulled out a box with new bandages in it. I sloppily wrapped it around my arms and put the box where it belonged. I walked out the bathroom and jumped on the bed. I lazily pulled the covers out and slipped under them. I had trouble falling asleep. I was sooooo tired, but I just couldn't fall asleep. It just.. Wouldn't happen.

I have no clue how many hours... or minutes of sleep I got that night, but eventually I sorta drifted off to sleep.


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Hey guys, I know, I know, it's a short chapter, but hey, two chapters in one day! WOOH! I've really outdone myself. Heh. Hope you guys are enjoying so far! I'm kinda new to making much angst, so I'm trying my best.


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