//crazy//

Five.

  "Amy? Would you like to share how your mental health has been lately?" Veronica, Ms. V, the group counselor asked.

     My eyes averted the young skinny girl Ms. V was talking to. She looked about fifteen, she had gorgeous brown hair and she was thin; more than normal. She had these dark brown, almost black under her eyes as if she hadn't gotten sleep in days. She was pretty, but noticeably broken. Like the rest of the people around me.

    Amy had nodded in response and re-positioned herself in her seat thinking of what she was going to say next.

    "I'm Amy, I'm fourteen years old-"  so close. She continued, " and I am here because I have Anorexia Nervosa." she shrugged.

    My throat closed up during the last few words.

I hate seeing people suffer from eating disorders. Kelsey went through a stage where she also did not eat because she felt that her current weight was too much. It was hard on the both of us. I'd talk to her through it all, she would cry to me, there were some heated arguments, but we both came out strong. My heart broke for Amy because Kelsey's condition during it wasn't half as bad as Amy's is looking.

"It got really bad... I went to the hospital because I passed out in school and they put me on feeding tubs and other scary wires.." Her voice trailed off.

"Now, I've been here for about three and a half weeks and I eat two salads a day to try and get my weight up a few pounds. I'm still not comfortable in my body... at all, but I don't wanna put my family through that again." Amy told the group as she fiddled with her thumbs.

Ms.V smiled at her, "I am so happy to hear that Amy. You bring such a great energy to this group with your story."
    Amy smiled in return and looked at me. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

The group session was over and I didn't speak one word. I would've if they had asked because after hearing everyone else talk, they really are good people.

I went down the narrow hallway past the lobby to where my room was. I looked over towards the front desk and saw that it was 7:30. We have to be in our rooms for the night eight and seeing that there isn't many things to do here to keep me occupied, I decided to call it a night.

Once I had been settled for a few minutes reading Turtles All The Way Down by John Green, the same nurse earlier had come to the door again. I learned that her name was Genevieve and she just prefers to be called Ginny.

I flashed her a smile while sitting up in the bed and setting my book down. I knew she why she was in here... the nurses would come around to rooms every morning and night to bring our medication.

She handed me a small plastic cup with the pills inside along with a small water bottle.
I took the pills into my mouth and pushed them down my throat downing water down right after. I wasn't going to fight the whole medicine ordeal, the sooner they think I'm improving the better.

    " Tomorrow at noon a student intern counselor is going to speak with you at noon. It's a male and he's very young but is said to be very knowledgeable on Psychosis research." She explained.

    "Okay." I replied not thinking much of the situation and just wanting to read and then go to bed.

    "Alright. Well I'll be back in the morning around 9ish to bring you your medication. Sleep well Jessalyn." She said smiling, leaving the room.

    I set my book down on the white paint chipped table across from my bed and picked up my favorite red hoodie to put it on. The hoodie strings were taken out of it when I got here though, I could easily put them back in when I leave but they do it to prevent self harm. I only have my now laceless shoes, leggings, a shirt, my book, and my hoodie. My phone was no longer in my possession.

    As I sat down on the creaky bed, I pondered on tomorrow's already planned events. A young intern? What if he's cute? Not that I'd make a good impression, I look dead and I'm in a mental hospital.

I stopped overthinking my current situation not wanting to go down a never ending thought spiral so I could actually get some sleep. Today has been insane. Literally. I woke up in bed and the only thing I was worried about was going to the doctor. Now I am here. Wow.

    I turned onto my side getting comfortable and then shutting my eyes.

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remember you're never alone and you're so so beautiful and you're loved. I love you<3
this chapter sucks I'm sorry.
I wonder who we're gonna meet next chapter...?