BROKEN

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NEWWIE🗿

I stood there motionless, my feet felt heavy like lead, I tried to move honestly, I did, but they were glued to the ground, my voice stuck in my throat and my heart......the heaviness in my heart gave me that sinking feeling of being engulfed by my sorrows. I was drowning and no matter how much I tried I couldn't breathe, I couldn't survive this break-up. He was walking away from me and I stood there and did nothing. Six years of friendship broken in seconds. Why didn't I try to stop him? Why didn't I pull him and wrap my arms around him and tell him that he was enough that I needed no one else? Why didn't I just tell him? Tay I still need you in my life don't you need me? Can you really live without me? Can you?

2 hours earlier

"Newwie I really need to talk to you" Tay said pulling me aside while I was still practicing for our concert. The YILoveU concert was due in two days. My phone was buzzing and just as I was about to take the call Tay took the phone away from me.

"No! No phones first I need to talk to you."

"What is so urgent? It could be Mikky! She was supposed to call."

"Yes it could me Mikky! Right, so now I have to take appointments before talking to you, is it? Because you may be busy with your new girlfriend!"

"Tay! Why are you saying all this? You very well know that she is not my girlfriend, heck I just met her twice and each time you tagged along with me."

"That is because you asked me to come and I really don't enjoy being stuck in the middle of you and your gf."

"Again! Girlfriend!!! What is the matter with you?"

"What is the matter with me? You forget 6 years of friendship for a person who is not even in your life for 2days?"

He was suddenly very angry and I couldn't understand what was making him angry, not that I was hiding anything from him, but he was behaving different......he was.....I couldn't put a finger to it ....he was......he was....yes he was ..being possessive. That was so unlike Tay. I was the one who always felt like Tay could be only my friend....my best friend. I always get annoyed when Tay spends time with all his other friends, but Tay was always cool and not the possessive type. What happened to him today? I wrapped my arms around his shoulders to calm him down.

He stood there with a sullen face, and slowly extricated himself from my hands.

"What happened Tay? Are you angry with me for something? Tell me please. I....I...am unable to understand what's wrong! Tell me please, if it's about not giving you enough time then I promise it will not happen again. I will clear all my schedule up from next week and we can go somewhere. You want to go to Korea again or Phuket maybe?"

He stared at me, then took a long breath and queried softly, "Hin why do you make plans like those with me? Why don't you go with other friends? Why are you always beside me stuck like a barnacle?"

"Tay you are my bestfriend of course I plan everything with you. What kind of a stupid question is that?"

"Yes! You are absolutely right it's a stupid question! I am stupid! I am so dumb! How could I be such an idiot!! How? I always knew nothings gonna change..ever"

Tears started rolling down his eyes. I can't ....I just can't see Tay crying. It breaks my heart to see tears in his eyes.

I hugged him tight and though he tried very hard to disengage himself , I kept my hold tight. My own eyes had grown moist now.
"Tay! Please tell me what's hurting you. I can do everything for you but please for God's sake don't cry! I hate seeing tears in your eyes. What is it tell me! I assure you everything will be alright."

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