ENCHANTED (TAYNEW)

BORN TO BE BEST FRIENDS

TAWAN 🌞

I stared at the man holding my hand. He tried ....I know he tried very hard to act casual but the slight tremble in the hand holding on to mine, spoke otherwise. He was scared, scared of loosing me. I was that shoulder on which he could lean on anytime , he wanted to. I knew what he felt, I knew how lonely he was inside, I knew he was probably the the most insecure man out there and I also knew that he was a fabulous actor who pretended every single day that he was okay. He needed me more than I needed him. I was the only person around whom he didn't need to pretend. I knew the real Hin and the real Hin was not a rock. He was trying extremely hard to put up a brave smile on his face but completely failed in his attempt.

"Tay!"

He tugged at my arm again. "Say something!" He almost whispered.

"There is nothing to say New, we will do as Mr.Xisek said. We will pretend to be a couple, like we have always done. It would really be easy since we are so used to faking it." My tone was bitter I didn't want to sound that way but it came out cold and indifferent. He visibly winced at my tone. The shock on his face made him go even whiter than he already was. He pulled me to one of our empty dressing rooms.

"Tay! Why are you saying such things!!! When did we ever fake anything?"

"Didn't we? Was there no pretension at all New? Are you sure? Holding hands, cheek kissing, hugging even being possessive of each other it was all real?? Was it?"

"You know it was real Tay!!! You know that!!! Stop doing this, will you? Why are you doing this to us? Six years ....six years of friendship and now everything looks like pretense to you? You fell in love with me Tay I understand that, I feel honoured, and I feel so helpless because I cannot love you back like a lover. I wish I could, God knows I really do. I love you so much that I can die for you anyday, do you understand that? I love you more than anyone else in the world but will you be happy with me if I cannot give you that which is an important part of any relationship because I am straight.....God made me that Tay!!! I can't do anything about it Tay!! What do I do? I can promise to you that if you don't want me to be in any relation, I will not and I will always stay beside you but will that be enough for you? I am willing to do everything for you but how do I change what's not in my hand?"

He was blinking really hard to stop the tears from falling. But I could always see through him, maybe the world could not...so he was always misunderstood, but I could read him like the book. I could see the pain in his eyes.
Of course I knew that we never pretended because there was never any need, we were close that way.....too close. I had to cut him off otherwise he would never learn to live on his own and never leave my side .....he would never leave me ........which will make neither of us happy. I loved him and he loved me but we could never be together in a relationship, that was the irony of our lives. We were born to be Best Friends.

"Stop it New!! I thought that discussion was already over. Look New! Let's just act as professionals. I know that you love me and can do everything for me but you can't give me everything, can you? I am pretty demanding New, I want all of you or none of you. So let's just do what will be comfortable for both our sakes and not get emotionally invested in each other's lives."

He stared at me as if seeing me for the first time. I knew that he was stunned by my behaviour,heck even I was. Probably I wasn't a bad actor after all, if I could pull this off without a mental or emotional breakdown, I could probably do anything in the world.

NEWWIE 🗿

The one standing in front of me wasn't my best friend. He seemed frosty and withdrawn. He was different ...........almost distant. For the first time I realised why it was impossible to touch the sun....... because the burning sun burns everything that comes near it. He was burning himself up by trying to distance me. I tried very hard to contain the tears within my eyes. I didn't want him to think of me as weak and vulnerable.