Accidental Demon Summoning

Part 10

Al's car was beautiful and old, big enough to carry everything that they needed if they were going to survive while being chased by a murderous demon. But Asmodeus refused to stay alive if it wasn't in the old Fiat. That was how Daisy ended up driving along the silent streets of the American countryside with a dog the size of Australia on her lap and a portaloo beside her because "only planet-killers and idiots poop on the side of the road".

"Then Asmodeus should be fine without the porta-potty," Daisy said.

Asmodeus snorted. "I'll have you know that my digestive system is so far advanced that it's effective enough not to produce waste. Especially waste that looks like chocolate frosting with too much sugar in it. All sloppy and soft."

"There's no such thing as too much sugar," Daisy replied through a mouthful of black and white dog hair. She'd already eaten all of Al's chocolate and was halfway through his outrageously salty Dutch licorice.

Al laughed. "Seconded. Daisy, there should be some books back there. Have you read the Northern Lights Trilogy?"

"Like, eight times," Daisy said.

She shoved Lily to the side and leant into the footwell beside her, shoving aside various portable cooking equipment and meats. Her hand brushed something sharp and she pulled it out. It was an old photo, black and white, and the glass over the cover had cracked.

Two people stood together in it. The photographer had snapped them from the waist up, so they filled the entire frame in perfect detail. The man on the left was tall and white, wearing a top hat. His eyes and his jaw was strong, and he had the same high cheekbones as Al. The woman he was gazing at was almost two heads shorter than him, with curly hair and dark, wrinkling skin that stood out against her white dress. Her cheeks were round, and her full lips were stretched in a huge grin. She looked so much wearier than him, even though they were the same age. But both of them were smiling and staring into each other's eyes with such pure adoration.

Daisy passed it to Al. "Who are these?"

Al paused for a moment. "My parents. They got married the year segregation ended in America and had me a few months after."

"So you're, like, really old! You don't look it, you look, like, my mum's age." Daisy frowned.

"No, I'm fifty-five." Al laughed. "Segregation was properly abolished in '64."

"Oh." Daisy frowned. "That's, like, no time at all ago." Her mum had almost never talked about her dad - he'd left when she was a tiny baby - but she had told her that he had been half black, and half white. She'd slept through most of the history classes that dealt with black stuff, all two of them, because the other part black kids in the class had been called on for every question even when white hands were up and theirs hadn't been. Even Callum, who only had one black grandparent.

Al chuckled. "Well, we're not as progressive as we'd like to think, are we?"

Asmodeus pumped his fist. "Gay rights, baby! Trans rights are human rights! Black lives matter!" He swivelled around to face Daisy. "Al taught me all of those, he's all of them."

Blushing, Al looked down into his lap.

"Who was that demon lady?" Daisy leant back and opened a bag of chicken chips. "The one who attacked us?" You know. Priorities. Chocolate, some discussions about family and oppression and personal history. Then the small talk about almost dying.

"That was Berir," Al said. "She was the one who made me sick, as a warning, she was sending me to my death. Think of her as...as his superpowered boss. She's responsible for hundreds of demons."

"We have pyramid hierarchies, with Satan awarding power based on how many demons we control. There are three demons reporting to her, each of them have six demons reporting to them, and twelve to them, twenty-four to them, and so on. She's tier one, her Three are tier two, their six are tier three, and so on. When demons hatch, they're at Tier 36 and move up based on the pleasure they give and how often they are summoned again." Asmodeus paused. "I'm Tier Two, mostly because of Al. Berir didn't tell Satan about my connection to him, because she'd get in trouble for not instantly eliminating him. Satan is a cruel leader, if you make mistakes she'll wipe your power from you and turn you into a shade."

"So..." Daisy frowned. She wound her fingers through Lilly's fur, pulling it tight. "She's not going to stop until Asmodeus is back in hell."

The demon shook his head and glanced at Al. "No." His voice was hollow. "I've made too many mistakes. She's going to kill me this time."

They drove in silence. Asmodeus reached across the centre console and took Al's hand, stroking his thumb across his knuckles. Daisy finished the chips and opened a metal water bottle. The sun rose. Lily slumped down on Daisy's lap and fell asleep.

So demons could be killed and corrupted. Monsters could be slain. They could fall in love and out of love. They were...unpredictable.

"Are there any other rogue demons?" Daisy asked. "You know. Ones who don't live in Hell any more?"

Asmodeus nodded. "A few. I think, one two thousand years in the future, a thruple a hundred years ago - polyamorous lesbians who only wanted to please one another -, various other ones scattered through history. I think there's one here, but no one's heard from them in thousands of lifespans." He cast his eyes down. "I cared for them a lot."

Daisy clapped her hand. "Storytime!"

With a chuckle, Asmodeus glanced over his shoulder, then met Al's eyes. Al smiled. "Storytime!" His voice was far more reserved, the excitement subtle, but the laugh in his tone was still there.

Asmodeus braced the steering wheel between his knees. "Their name was Mephistopheles, and they were as close to me as human siblings are to each other. We fought, certainly, we hated each other across certain periods. Jealously and bitterness locked us as rivals for much of the time but at the end of the day, we were always there for each other.

"One of our main sources of jealousy was her relationship with Satan. You see," Asmodeus paused and chuckled. "Mephistopheles was talented and beautiful, in more than sexual relations with humans. They sang, they wrote, she could find the bright side of everything and the humour in the darkest days. They were in charge of torture for certain sects, bestiality and rape and pedophilia - the third tier, under the demon of Perverted Sex - and they were beautifully cruel to those who came under her. Daisy, Al, never commit an act of perverted sex, her methods are still in place and they make demons terrified.

"It was that...talent. That amazing, infinite talent, that drew the attention of Satan Herself. She took Mephistopheles as Her lover, to live in Her palace. They were magnificent together, impossibly powerful, and infinitely beautiful and cruel. Angels were laid to waste before them and it is rumoured that God Themself trembled in Their sleep, terrified of what the pair could do together." Asmodeus sighed. "It was that, in the end, that drove them apart. God decrees that none shall be more powerful than them, none shall even know their true name. Ancient of Days, Elohim, El-Shaddai, Yahweh, Jehovah, Adda, Adonai. All well researched, plausible names and titles. And at the same time, a million miles away from the truth." He paused. "Where was I?

"Ah yes. God ordered that they separate. Satan resisted, of course. She was at least as powerful as God, he had no right to order her around. Especially with something as...intimate as matters of the heart. Mephistopheles, however, was a mere demon trapped between the forces of the cosmos. Either one could smite them to keep them from the other. She made a deal with God, that They would protect them from their jilted lover. So Mephistopheles fled Hell and took up residence in this time era. Technology is advanced enough, and the planet is still in a vaguely stable condition and humanity's still around."

"We all die?" Al scooted up in his seat.

"Duh." Daisy chomped another crisp. "Let's go and see this soap-opera bitch-ass genderqueer demon. I like them already."

Asmodeus coughed. "We also need to teach you how to fight."