hope// 5SOS

38

Luke

I walked a little behind Bella, watching as she admired the landscape around her.

Instead of the beach, I'd taken her to a small woodland which had a lake round it.

"We could come on runs here, once your chest starts clearing up,"

"So I'm not doing pe at school?"

"No, we've agreed that you can go to the library or to see a teacher if you're struggling with something,"

"Ok. I'm not very fit, well I'm not fit at all,"

"That's ok, I didn't exactly expect you to be. We will start off small because you are only just eating ideal portions, but it'll be good for you,"

"Thankyou for not judging me,"

"Ash and I know better than anyone how much stress your body goes through each day, even if you don't realise. For many reasons, you're gonna have more off days that us guys and I think you push through everything so well,"

"How many more sessions on Friday do I have left?"

"Only until school starts again, but we've been advised to ask if you could perhaps go once every two months. Do you feel like that would be okay?"

"Yeah, I can always talk to you guys,"

She'd slowed down, taking my hand and swinging it as we walked round the lake.

"I will never be able to run round this whole thing,"

"Sure you will, after a bit of practice,"

"I always feel ashamed. I live with doctors and dentists, yet I'm the most unhealthy girl out there because I don't follow your instructions," she admitted, looking down.

"You're far from unhealthy, and you're really beautiful and it doesn't matter. I know you take care of yourself, but your body isn't strong enough yet and that's not your fault...I'm gonna weigh you at home,"

"No,"

"Mhm, so you can see for yourself,"

"See what?"

"Do you know how much you weighed when you arrived? About 5.5 stone. A good weight for someone your age and height, with muscle, would be about 8-9 stone- for my liking. If you're a little bit over, or a little bit under, I'll be so proud. No matter what it is, I will be proud,"

"That's a big jump,"

"And I'm not expecting it yet. What I mean is, your weight is gonna fluctuate. Sometimes you're gonna be a little bit over that weight, others a little bit under. You're a teenager and it flies all over the place, so I don't want you downhearted and feeling bad about your body. Whatever it is, ever in your life, I know you will have tried your best. Mental health changes your weight too, and in the future you still might struggle a little. Weight is a sensitive topic, but I don't want it to have to be sensitive between us. You know I am a safe person to talk to, as will give you the best advice I can give,"

"What about when I have a job? And I'm not thinking about it,"

"Bella, I'm never gonna stop loving you. If you come to me one day and I think it's suitable to lose weight, we will do it together. If you come to me one day and I know you need to gain weight, I will help you do that too. If you come to me one day with the biggest smile on your face, I will celebrate it with you and if you are feeling shit, and need someone to talk to, I'll be here. But just because I'm a doctor, it doesn't mean I only care about your health. The only reason I want to weigh you is so that we can celebrate, because you don't realise how much you've achieved," I said, turning into our driveway.

She was so amazing, and she didn't realise.

We headed upstairs to the bathroom and I got the scales out, placing them down.

I let her sit on the bath for a few minutes, thinking about whatever she needed to.

"All you've gotta do is step on them, you don't even have to look if you don't want. I know it can be scary, but I also know you can do it,"

Slowly, she took her shoes off and stood up, putting one foot on the scale. It went up slightly and she drew back before just stepping on it and closing her eyes.

I watched as the total grew to a grand 8.2 stone. For how long she'd been here, and what she's been through, I was amazed.

"Take a look babygirl, I think you're gonna love it,"

"I'm scared,"

"There's no need to be, I'm so proud of you,"

I felt tears burning up in my own eyes, sitting on the flipped down toilet seat and watching as she looked.

"Is that good?"

"So good Bella, I hope you're proud of yourself," I said, pulling her into the biggest hug possible.

I heard the others come upstairs, their puzzled faces appearing at the door. Bella wiped her own tears, whispering a thankyou.

Because it wasn't just that she was healthy, she was happy, and loved, and respected.

"Go on, show them what you've achieved,"

Hesitantly, she stepped on the scale and watched as it grew to that number again.

Bella

I'd never felt so proud, or loved so much in this house before today.

This was a step up to anything I'd ever felt, and it was almost unnatural.

Almost.

Because these guys had taught me nothing was impossible.

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the end