I'm Not OKay

Chapter 3

Tenko had a far away look on his face, the fear, worry and tension was clear on his face, along with resentment and as Aizawa looked at him, he wondered who the resentment was directed towards.

He was also unsure what to make of everything that Shimura had told him, yet he made his notes about it all, though he would likely need to speak to Nedzu about it, because there were questions to be asked and yet it didn't seem like the right time to ask them.

The haze was had covered those red eyes was gone, he scratched his neck and looked around himself. "I..." His eyes caught Aizawa's and the hero could feel how confused and lost the other man was, having immersed himself deeply into the past, he was trembling as he had relived it all over again, yet to see the hero there, to see that he was no longer in the darkness of All for One's base, he calmed down. "I... I tried to resist, but." He paused and Aizawa beckoned him to continue with a slight nod of the head, he didn't need to speak not right now. "There were times when I was certain he was using a quirk on me..." He looked down at his feet, he wore the red shoes that he loved so much, and he smiled, thinking of how Izuku had gotten a pair of red shoes similar to his own because he wanted to be just like his 'big brother'. The smile left his face, it had been two years since he had seen the young boy, he wondered if he still felt the same now.

Yet his brother was an invaluable person, almost as much and his mother and Dabi. Just thinking of him when he tried to get through the horrors helped push him through. Because he was a big brother and who was going to protect Izuku in times to come?

Continuing that thought, he began to think about something else. What did being a hero mean to him now? He was free and returned to his family, friends and the Pro Heroes who had taught him, trained him and fought alongside him. Could he be considered a hero after what he went through?

He had worked so damn hard to prove himself, throughout his childhood, through UA, and then to graduate and be part of the 2nd Ranked Hero sidekicks group, yet it all fell around him the second he was captured. He had failed to live up to the title of Hero, shouldn't he have rather died instead of being tormented in such a way. Worse still, what if it had worked? What if he did become a villain? What if he was a villain?

"You couldn't think logically." Aizawa finally spoke, cutting through the negative thoughts that had started to drown Tenko, that caused him to aggressively begin to scratch at his neck. "You were in an intense situation, you had no reprieve, not time to think of a way to get out of there and as you have said, he probably was using a quirk of some sort to get into your head, to put doubts in there to make you more easier to manage."

"But if it had been someone else..." He began to protest, stopping his scratching to get the hero before him to realise that he had failed.

"You didn't fail, no hero would have been able to get out of that type of situation unscathed."

"If it had been Endeavor or All Might..."

It was a weak counterargument, they both knew it.

"Even they would have been hard pressed against him in that type of situation. You know what happened when All Might faced him before. What if it had been me? I wouldn't have been able to stop him, I could however stop his henchman, Kurogiri. However as you know I have a limit, they just needed to wait until I blinked and then I would have been warped away. It would be the same as with Dabi, he's strong, could likely be stronger than Endeavor if he put the work in, but he wouldn't have had a chance against either of them."

"Dabi has gotten stronger huh?"

"Yea. But don't try to change the subject Shimura." Aizawa said softly, as those red eyes looked at him curiously and he knew the young man wanted to know about his friends scars, he probably didn't take it in when he saw him the other day. "You had to survive, you came up with a way to help yourself get out of that situation. Just remember that no one is immune to the trauma that happens in our lives, but it's how we deal with the situation afterwards, and how we can go on to help others who need that support." Shimura began to bite his lip as they were silent for a few moments. "Even if you don't know how you feel about Pro Heroes and your place among them, you need to remember that you did what you had to. No one is holding that against you."