Can you keep me safe?

Chapter 7

The relief washed through me as my lungs heaved in air, my body still functioning and not obliterated into tiny pieces. My hands still shaking I dropped the small metallic scissors and felt overcome with exhaustion. I pressed my hands into my face and began to sob with relief. This sensation overcame me out of nowhere and the tears wetting my cheeks only made me continue as if it was reminding me I was alive and my body still intact. David wrapped his arms around me and held me so tightly i thought I would pass out. He rubbed my back gently and held my head closer to his chest, both of our hearts hammering against our ribs. This feeling of having your life being possible taken away from you in a second opened my conscience and made me truly understand my mortality and those around me.

"It's alright know love" David said  pulling away and grasping onto my hands
"You did it, everyone is okay" he said smiling, but his voice still shaking and behind his blue eyes still an underlying sense of anxiety and most particularly fear. It felt as if David was trying to remain strong for but I could feel how traumatised he was. I wanted to ask if he was okay and press on further but he moved away from my touch and his face turned cold  "sorry I'm just going to go to the bathroom" he said blankly, David turned and left leaving me feel cold without his touch.

I made my way over to the air hostess and spoke to the pilot.

"We are making our descent know to nyc I hv made a request for expo to arrive and properly remove the bomb" he said calmly but I could see the sweat running down the back of his neck. I nodded.

"What you have done I don't know how to thank you and your colleague" he stammered and I quietly made a polite response.

I walked my way back down to the aisle to my seat and couldn't help but think that it was my fault this plane had been subject to a terror threat, obviously it was meant to get rid of me, and clearly  the culprit not thinking of the other 30 people on this plane. I swallowed. I looked down and noticed David wasn't sat in his seat so made my way over to the bathroom and gently knocked.

"Are you alright" I said softly and waited for a reply.
"David let me in please" I said again now more assertively. I began to here shuffling and the turning of a handle on the other side of the door, David sat on the toilet lid looking blankly at the wall. He seemed so removed and not here I could see his bright eyes flickering and thinking as he continued to stare deeply into nothingness. I placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort him but he only shook me off.

"Please leave me alone y/n" he said not removing his stare from the wall.

"David you know you can talk to me you don't always have to be strong for me" I said bending down to my knees and holding his face in my hands so he was now gazing into my eyes.

"But I do, course I fucking do I'm ur ppo" he said angrily

"And I can't let whatever we have change that your a distraction if I wasn't so caught up in you I would of done a proper sweep of the plane instead of bloody staring at your ass" he said now even louder

" shit I could of lost you y/n and I wouldn't forgive myself I care for you"he said now almost too quiet  for me to hear

"David you know I'm more than a distraction can't you remember what you said earlier" I said almost laughing trying to cover up the hurt in my voice

"I'm sorry but this can't continue" he said blankly not daring to look at me.

"David you don't have to push me away" I said softly placing a hand on his damp cheek

"It's for the best" he said assertively not moving his eyes from the wall

With that I left and slammed the door behind me not wanting him to see me so upset. I made my way to my seat and clumsily grabbed hold of my stuff and moved to the back of the plane wanting to be as far away as possible.

David's pov

My heart ached at the fact I had hurt y/n but it was for the best and I needed to prioritise her safety.  I could never see her get hurt because of me failing to do my job properly. I longed that we could have met in different circumstances but of course I had to be her ppo and I couldn't put my feelings in front of my job. i furrowed my brow and began to shake my head I said I loved her I don't know the last time I said that, I bit my tongue. Course I didn't love her that was just me trying to say soft words before what could have been the end of our existence but I definitely could love her I seemed to care for her so deeply and I don't even know why. The way how she bit her lip when she was nervous and how her top lip lifted before she smiled and her whole face lit up, these little things I seemed to gather only knowing her for a week. I longed for her in my arms, my body seemed to fit perfectly around her petite physique and I just wanted to have her blonde hair nestled into my chest. I couldn't help but think of this morning waking up to see her fluttering long eyelashes and chest rising and falling in such a relaxed manner. I had to stop. She consumed me and made me fall into a dreamy haze of serenity that weakened me and made me less of a protection, but I wanted her so badly. what have I done?