undertow | bellamy blake (book one)

8 | mercy

It wasn't long after that Bellamy and Charlotte fell asleep, but Jovie found herself struggling to do the same. All she could do was think about Atom out there. She wanted to go save him, but there was no use. Either he was already dead or he was going to be soon.

She jumped when Charlotte suddenly started screaming.

"No!" The girl screamed as she cried in her sleep. Bellamy immediately awoke at the noise and he instantly reached over to gently shake Charlotte.

"Charlotte, wake up," he said. Jovie made her way around to sit on Charlotte's other side, placing a comforting hand on her arm. The girl sniffled as she woke up and looked at the two of them.

"I'm sorry," Charlotte said quietly.

"Does it happen often?" Bellamy asked. Charlotte didn't answer but by the look on her face they gathered that it did. "What are you scared of?" He paused, shaking his head. "You know what? It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it."

"But... I'm asleep," Charlotte said.

"Fears are fears. Slay your demons when you're awake, they won't be there to get you when you sleep," Bellamy told her. Jovie just sat back and watched them quietly. It was obvious that Bellamy had this under control. He was probably better at this than she was anyway. She wanted to comfort Charlotte, but she wasn't sure she would be able to find the right thing to say. She never really could. Bellamy could.

"Yeah, but how?" Charlotte asked desperately.

"You can't afford to be weak. Down here, weakness is death, fear is death. Let me see that knife I gave you," he instructed. Charlotte handed over the knife and watched him eagerly. "Now, when you feel afraid, you hold tight to that knife and you say, 'screw you. I'm not afraid.'" He handed the knife back over to her and she gripped it like her life depended on it.

"Screw you. I'm not afraid," she said weakly. Bellamy smiled at her, encouraging her to do it again. "Screw you. I'm not afraid!"

"Slay your demons, kid. Then you'll be able to sleep," Bellamy said determinedly. Charlotte smiled, looking over at Jovie once before slowly laying back down to fall back asleep.

Bellamy sighed and walked over a few feet away before sitting back down and pressing his back up against the cave wall. Jovie debated whether to follow him or not before she eventually found herself sitting next to him. They sat in silence for a bit before Jovie looked over at him.

"You're good with her," she told him. He just stared straight ahead as he spoke.

"She reminds me of how Octavia used to be," he confessed. It felt weird for Jovie having a normal conversation with him like this. She was used to arguing with him and disobeying his orders. She wasn't used to talking about something meaningful. She didn't know what to say, so she just remained silent. It was he who broke the silence. "I remember you, you know."

He didn't have to explain more. Jovie knew what he meant. It was because she remembered him too. He was there when she got arrested and dragged from her home. "I had just started training for the guard as a way to protect Octavia and our mom. I remember how shocked I was to find out that you existed, that there was another second child on the Ark besides Octavia."

Jovie looked down at her lap. The day that she was arrested was engrained in her mind. It was the fact that her father was floated that changed the most. She knew she couldn't stay hidden forever. At one point or another she was going to be found. She was just lucky they found her when she was only 15 and she was just arrested. If they found her when she was an adult, she would face the same fate her father did. It was that day that the Murphy's fell apart.