killer |n.h|

|terrifed|

❝Well, it's either kiss me or kill me, that's how I see it.❞ -Tom Waits

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"I'm very excited!" I reply happily when Bobby asks how I am. He smiled at me in the rearview mirror before looking back at the road. Maura sat next to him, busy reading a book. I sat in the back on the far right. Andrew sat on the far left, listening to music through earbuds. That left Niall sitting between us.

I'd tried to make sure we weren't touching at all, but that didn't seem possible. Despite the fact I'd squished myself against the door and crossed my legs he somehow managed to make our legs touch. It was pissing me off, and I was almost positive he was doing it purposely.

Sadly I had left my own earbuds in my room, which left me riding in awkward silence for nearly 45 minutes. The five of us were heading to a beach that the Horans liked visiting. I was excited, honest. I liked beaches and swimming (though it was way too cold to). Plus, I would never walk around in a bikini in front of Niall. The thought of him looking at my body terrified me.

Bobby tried starting a conversation with his younger son and I but it kept falling. Soon he just gave up. I wasn't mad at him or anything, I just had a lot on my mind.

After a few more minutes of silence we arrive at the beach parking lot, which was vacant. It didn't look like there were any other people on the beach or swimming. Bobby parks and all of us climb out. Maura slides on a pair of large sunglasses, though the sun wasn't out. In fact it was pretty cloudy and windy. No wonder there weren't any other people out today.

"Are you going swimming, Sarah?" Andrew asks me as all of us start walking through the sand. I slide off my flip flops and carry them.

"No- are you?" I answer. He nods and smiles.

"But it's probably freezing."

"Then it's funner!" he replies. I smile at him and nearly tell him funner isn't a word. But I felt kind of sad and didn't bother. Why I was sad? You can probably guess why.

"I'm not going swimming," Niall pipes up. No one asked for your opinion. The sand under my toes was cool. I tuck my hand in the pocket of my hoodie and keep walking. I don't stop until Maura and Bobby find a perfect place to lay their towels. I bet I would have kept walking if they didn't say anything.

I would have walked past them all. And then I would be in the water. After that I would quickly go under water. If I was lucky I would keep walking and not drown. Then, I would make it to shore and walk onto American soil. If keep walking until I reached my house in Boston, and go straight to my room. That's when I would hide under the covers of my bed and never come out-

"Are you sure you don't want to go in?" Andrew says, interrupting my internal monologue. I fight the urge to glare at him and nod. He shrugs and just runs off toward the water.

Without hesitating he crashes through the waves and soon goes under. He continues to swim around, but stays close to the shore. I watch him for a moment before I hear my stomach growl. I put a hand to it and turn to Bobby, who was sitting down on one of the blankets laid out.

"Did you bring granola bars or any food?" I ask politely. He looks up at me and frowns, shaking his head. Maura looks up at me from a magazine.

"There's a bending machine by the toilets," she says. She reaches for her purse and pulls out a 5 euro note. "Here you go."