The Ghostly Past

Chapter 33

It had been a week since the dinner with Clara. Max was so angry. It was eating him up from the inside like acid. The main anger was directed at himself. The way he'd treated Clara, the coldness, the bitterness. She was only trying to help he knew.

Well it had worked. She had gone.

The official word was that she'd gone to a musical education conference in London with James. But he knew better. He'd finally driven her away. James might come back after the conference, but from something Margaret had said he didn't think she would be back, at least not for a while.

He would miss her.

He was angry too at Ryan and Jess. They knew the curse. They knew what would happen. They had always known that eventually they would be drawn to one another. And they had succumbed anyway. They might claim it was an innocent gesture but he didn't believe it for a moment.

He would keep their secret but it would come out eventually.

Max resented the others too. James, treating it all like one big joke, then getting drunk. Leo, for pretending to be in charge of something they couldn't control. All the while the two of them ignored what was occurring right before them.

Perhaps it would just be easier to give in to expectations, he thought, when the guilt and fury had exhausted him. Maybe there was no point in trying to fight his own nature.

Leo had gone to London on business. He'd be gone for a month or two, dealing with suppliers for the property renovation business. James was with Clara on the music conference.

Meanwhile, Jess and Ryan were getting closer. They would sit together at the pub, go for walks, talking together, they claimed, about the curse. 

"Max?" Jess passed him as he wandered aimlessly through the village.

"What do you want?" He replied, his voice abrupt.

"Nothing much." She looked upset at his rudeness. He found he didn't much care. "I've been making plans actually. To leave. I want to travel. Maybe I can stop this, delay this, if I go away. It's what I always wanted. I don't know why I stayed so long."

"Try if you want." Max said with a cynical laugh. "It won't change anything."

One day, Max was walking through the village when he caught sight of someone dark haired, sitting on a bench, head in their hands, crying. For a moment, he felt apathetic, disinclined to go and speak with them.

Curiosity got the better of him.

"Are you alright?" He asked uncertainly.

Kim raised her head, smudging her eyeliner a little as she wiped tears from her eyes. "Oh, It's you." She said with clear dislike, "What do you want?"

He shrugged. "I saw you crying."

"I'm just having a bad day." Kim replied, sighing. "He's with her today."

Max didn't have to ask who she meant. He took a seat beside her on the bench. For a moment, the two of them stared at the quiet of the village, an occasional car cruising past, people wandering by, life going on as normal.

"Do you want to be with Clara?" She asked him. "You're really hot and cold with her."

"Yes." Max said quietly. "I care about her. In another life..." his voice trailed off, imagining it. He'd have asked her on a date. When they kissed he wouldn't have pulled away, no he would have gone back for more.

"It's not right." Kim's voice was small. "Not any of it."

"No."

"I shouldn't love him. Ryan I mean. I should have stayed away." Kim started crying again. "But I loved him, despite everything. Despite knowing that he's going to leave me, that he's going to do terrible things."

"Do you regret it? Loving him?"

"Yes. No. Sometimes." Kim shrugged. "Clara's the same. She has feelings for you, real honest feelings. She would have stayed if you'd given her hope. She'll still come back even though you give her nothing."

"Part of me wants her to. Part of me hopes she stays away. Our days are becoming ever more numbered. You see that, right?"

"I see it." Kim said, "You're all different. Everyone's changing into different people before my eyes. Ryan and Jess," she broke off, "I see them. They're meeting up in secret, going for walks, going for coffee. They care about each other. Leo's not here to stop them. Ryan says I'm jealous when I confront him. He's right. But so am I. I'm not making it up!" Kim's voice rose. "And I can't stop it. He doesn't love me any more."

"He can't control it." Max answered her. "I know it doesn't make things better. But know that it's the curse, not him. Even I...I don't feel myself. I don't think I can fight the darkness in me for much longer."

"Sometimes I wish Ryan had just turned me away from the start." Kim shifted in her seat. "I think it would have made everything easier."

Max nodded. "I have to get to work." He left, pulling the phone out of his pocket. He had a text drafted to Clara. In it he apologised, he told her he'd been an idiot, asked her to come back.

He deleted it.

Kim was right. It was selfish to pull her back. He should let her go.