The Ghostly Past

Chapter 42

The ghosts were everywhere. Shadowy figures were following Clara through the forest, running to keep pace with her, empty eyed and fluid in their motion. The very air seemed to be solidifying, freezing around her, making her limbs slower and cumbersome as she pushed her way down to the pond with a sense of dread and excitement.

End it, they seemed to be saying, stop all of this.

She broke out of the trees, into the clearing. The sky above was an endless black void, broken only by the moon. It seemed distant, the light cast dim and eerie. The stars seemed to have retreated, as if afraid to be seen that night.

The ghosts moved out of her way as she crossed the muddy ground. The pond was bigger than she'd expected, a sprawling expanse of still, murky water. A short wooden dock stretched out, the planks mossy and decrepit.

White fog drifted like smoke, obscuring the view across the water, but she could see Ryan and Jess, standing on the dock. Ryan was blocking her way off it.

"I don't understand what we're doing here!" Jess shouted, trapped as Clara ran towards them. "You strangled Clara, you stabbed Max!"

"I didn't want to!" Ryan shook his head. "It's all so...so confusing. It's like there's someone else in my head, making me do things." Reason cleared his gaze for a moment, but the insanity snapped back in.

"Let me go!" Jess pleaded, "You're scaring me!"

"But I love you!" He replied, grabbing her hands as she struggled. "Don't you see that? How can you not? It's always been you!"

"No." Jess twisted. "You love Kim. You and she are a team. This is the curse talking, Ryan, not you. I want to leave."

"You love me." Ryan ranted, "I know you don't love Leo. The pair of you have been falling apart for years, always arguing, always fighting, but you and me, we've always been friends."

"Yes, friends!" Jess exclaimed, "And that's all. You've been there for me! But its not love. It never was."

"So I was just a convenience for you, and now you're going to throw me away?"

"It's not like that! Clara!" Jess spotted her approach.

"You!" Ryan growled, turning. Clara slipped past him in an instant, joining Jess in a show of solidarity on the dock. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to save you both." She answered.

Spirits lined the shore, watching them with awful, glassy eyes and expressionless faces. They could see their breath with each exhale, a flowing silvery mist that was then lost in the fog. The muddy ground was hardening, the pond itself starting to freeze over, the water rippling and then the crunch of ice.

Even Ryan was distracted, the three of them staring, pale with cold. Clara could hardly feel her fingers. She cried out with pain and panic, her heart beating too fast. Ryan and Jess looked dark and wild. The weight of the ghost's expectations was tangible, all of these spirits filling them with emotions that did not belong to them, turning them into puppets in someone else's play.

"You drove us to this!" Ryan finally said, looking at Clara with murder in his eyes. "You and your interfering. I told everyone from the start that you were an omen. But you continued to dig, continued to pry and put everyone on the edge. You sped the cycle up."

"It would have happened regardless." Clara hissed. The anger she felt didn't belong to her. "It was your weakness, both of you. You caved to your desires and look what it has brought. Leo will come to kill you for what you've done."

"You're persuading her." Ryan snarled. "You're the obstacle to our happiness."

"No, Jess is her own person. She's not some toy to be fought over by you and Leo. It's only the two of you who can't see." Clara insisted, pointing at the other woman.

Ryan looked furious. "You drive everyone crazy, Clara! You come here, judging everyone from the start. I'm sorry that we don't live up to your perfect expectations!"

"I'm not..."

"But you do!" Jess turned on her too. "And yet you've caused just as many catastrophes as the rest of us."

"Max was stabbed because of you." Ryan nodded.

"No, you stabbed Max!" Clara protested.

"He was only there because of you." Ryan countered, stepping closer. "And let's not forget Oliver, shall we?"

"All of you pressured him!" Clara answered. "He ran out there because of you."

"She told me the guilt she feels because of Oliver." Jess cut in. "She blames herself truly. She knew what was out there and she went with him anyway."

"You slowed him down." Ryan said, "Losing your shoes. I bet he was half carrying you."

"And if you hadn't been there at all, Oliver probably would have just left town. The ghosts only bothered you because you were trying to go." Jess's voice was hard, nasty. She jerked suddenly, her expression clearing. "Oh god, Clara don't listen to me. I don't mean it! I don't know why I said..."

Clara felt as if she was going to be sick. The pressure of the guilt, the regret was bearing down upon her. She knew they didn't mean it, not really. But it was too late. It hurt. Her breath was coming in pants.

Her hand moved as if of its own accord, pulling out the kitchen knife from her coat. Her fingers shook, the blade lifting up. Jess backed off.

Ryan was bearing down on her. "You're not going to stab me." He declared. "You're too much of a coward for that."

"I'm not going to hurt you." Clara whispered. The blade was at her own neck. Ryan froze in his tracks.

"Clara no." Ryan said, abruptly himself for a moment. "What are you...?"

"Stay back." Her voice shook. "This is the way it has to be. The way it always is." She started to cry. "Let it end." The blade nicked her neck, drawing blood. It trickled down to the collar of her coat, steaming almost in the frigid night.

"No." Ryan shook his head frantically, locked into place.

"You were right. It's my fault. It's always my fault in every cycle." Waves of misery threatened to pull her under, to drown her.

Ghosts walked onto the ice of the pond. There were voices screaming in her head. Condemn them! It yelled. End it, end yourself. You did all of this. Restart the cycle. You have failed! It was twisting her thoughts.

She fought it, fought hard. Her hand shook with the effort.

"Guys, stop!" Leo shouted, appearing from the trees, his face flushed with running. Kim was on his heels, muddy and upset. "Clara!" He looked horrified at the sight of her holding the knife, Ryan looming over them.

They were at a terrible impasse, all of them. No one dared move for fear of setting one of the others off.

As she turned her head, tears running down her face, she saw Max and James stumble out. The sight distracted her for a moment, her hand lowering a little. Max looked in a bad way, his cheeks drained, face pinched with pain and worry. Was that fresh blood on his shirt?

"Stop!" He was yelling, "Please! Kim, keep Leo back. Clara..." She saw the horror in his eyes as they alighted upon her. He tried to run forward and fell to his knees.

"Max!" Clara cried out, as did Jess. James was kneeling beside him, talking urgently, but she couldn't hear them.

It was her fault, all of this. Max had followed her that night, tried to save her. She had provoked Ryan into this madness.

"Screw this." Jess was muttering behind her. "I'm not a pawn. I'm getting out of this."

At that moment, everything shifted, as Jess took a running leap from the edge of the dock, skidding on the ice caused by the spirits. Her arms pinwheeled for a moment.

Then the ice shattered.