Mötley Crüe Imagines

Nikki Sixx- Comfortably Numb

Requested by taytaybooth

A/N: sorry for the Nikki spam :/ I've gotten mostly Nikki related requests, but if you're wanting to see more of the other guys, I'll be getting to more soon hopefully!

Nikki Sixx x Reader

Warnings: death, heavy alcohol and drug use, typical Mötley Crüe kinda stuff

This was it. You knew this day would come eventually and you held onto the sliver of hope that it might never happen. But no one could stop fate, everyone knew it was inevitable. Everyone knew he was out of control and that one day he will kill himself, but no one did anything. Not even you.

You didn't want to believe your eyes. You wanted so badly for this to be a dream, or that the anchor lady would suddenly jump out of the screen and say it was all a joke, but this was the end. You blankly watched your screen as the pretty blonde lady reads the report on Nikki's death.

"Paramedics reported on the scene, and there is no word now from police on the current situation, witnesses reported a man in his late thir-" you began to zone out. Blankly staring at the light emitted from the television. You were numb. You couldn't tell whether or not you were breathing, but you could care less at this point. The boy that you tried to beat up at the juvenile home that ended up being your first crush, they boy who you were connected at the hip with for decades, who you never went anywhere without, the one who was there with you through thick and thin, who called you his good luck charm, the one who you confessed your love to barely a month ago, the one who made you feel like a goddess in bed, the boy who promised his life to you and yours to his, was gone forever. You never wanted to even think about life without him. You'd sometimes fuck around with each other and joke about how one of the guys are gonna die young and Nikki would be the first, but when it actually happens, it's all too real.

You start getting into the dark part in your head, thinking about how he is, what's it feel like. The more you think about it, the bigger that throbbing pit in your stomach starts to eat you out. You were never too scared of death, but now, now that it's happened, it is terrifying. Someday you are gonna just fall asleep and that's it? What if there is no afterlife? The end of your life is the end of your life, and all the things you've ever done, just gone, buried with your body. If our soul isn't a real thing, is it just eternal darkness? You can't shake off all the dark and horrible thoughts, you manage to shakily get up onto your legs and carry your body to your kitchen, grabbing the closest bottle of liquor you could reach. This was the only thing that can distract you from going deeper into the dark reality that is unraveling in your twisted mind.

You've downed two fireballs and half a bottle of vodka that you chucked the rest onto your wall, shattering timeless pictures of you with Nikki. You got into your stash of coke and snorted more lines than you can count, but at least you aren't being eaten alive by your own horrid thoughts. Finally, you understand the song Comfortably Numb.

You lay on your living room floor, shattered glass surround you, floors and hair drenched in hard liquor, nose itching for another bump but you seemingly can't move your body, and tears dried on your cheeks, but still damp on your neck. You've been on the floor for nearly a day and all that is in your stomach is booze, booze, and more booze. You remain in the same position and it feels like even a heavyweight champion couldn't lift your limbs off the fucking floor, even blinking was an intense task.

You hear the door of your house open and you don't even bother reacting. You just hope whoever comes in thinks you're dead so you don't have to deal with them.

"Fucking hell Y/N" you hear a voice. You know you're either dead or dreaming because that voice you heard couldn't be real. Your eyes catch a blurry glimpse of the man you lost and an involuntary tear leaks from your eye. You groan and curl to your side.

"Fuck, Y/N why did you do this to yourself?" He said. You couldn't believe your ears. You were beyond angry. How could you do this to yourself? You use all your strength to push yourself up.

"You fucking asshole." You slurred. "You just fucking died. What are you fucking talking about?!" You said hitting his chest as you start sobbing. He looks at you and hold your head into his chest. You scream and cry and pound into his chest as he gently rubs your back and hair until you calm down.

"You have no idea the fucking grief you've fucking caused me. And you just fucking come back? I hate you!" You scream slapping his chest.

"Shhhh..." He says as you calm down.

"You don't understand the awful fucking things that I thought. My mind showed me the darkest fucking things I've ever thought of. I tried to wrap my brain around the concept that you were actually dead and how serious this shit is. When you fucking died, I finally understood that once you do, there is no fucking coming back. I wouldn't know any life without you." You said sniffling into his chest.

He lifted your chin and you looked into his eyes. They were so broken and you knew you were the only thing keeping him together. He was crying and his eye bags were darker than the eyeliner he wore.

"I'm so fucking sorry Y/N. I promise I will be ever leave you again. And I promise I am going sober." He said into your hair leaving a small kiss. You snuggle into him more as he chuckles at you. That sound. The sound of his soft laugh was music to your ears. Everything was different and this was one of those "small things" that you notice after a life changing incident. You would have never heard that sweet laugh ever again and it made your heart ache knowing that you nearly lost him. It took almost losing Nikki to realize how precious your guys's time is and you vow to spend it together the best it could be. That week he proposed and made the official promise to make the most out to the rest of your days together whether is there are few or many left.

A/N: Oops I made it real dark in the middle, but I've always had weird thoughts about death that I can never seem to shake and immortalizing it in my story only makes it all the more real, and frightening. Sorry guys.