Oliver Ausman Lives Again

nine

After my conversation with Kat settles, there's a comfortable silence while we listen to the radio for a while. I want to ask more questions and learn more about her in the short time we have left, but at the same time, I know it's pointless. Like I told Charlie, we'll be saying goodbye soon. I spend the hour trying to convince myself that the less I know, the easier it'll be to pretend I don't care.

Charlie stops his audiobook after awhile and takes the time to teach us everything he's learned about the monuments and famous buildings of NYC. I always make sure to listen whenever Charlie speaks-- Mom and Peter don't have a lot of time for that, so I try to make up for them. Thankfully Kat seems interested too, and amusedly impressed by Charlie's fact spewing.

It isn't long before he calms down and drifts off to sleep. Ironically it's just as it starts to get light outside, the night gradually beginning its fade into dawn. There's a hint of pink where the sun peeks over the horizon, melting into the soft grey-blue that covers the rest of the sky.

"So where does your dad live?" Kat asks, her voice hushed. She sends a glance back to Charlie to make sure he isn't disturbed. I can see in the rearview that he's still lying on the black leather, eyes shut and glasses in his hand, completely knocked out.

"Don't worry about him. He sleeps like a rock, especially in the car," I assure her. My gaze falls on the gas meter, which is leaning just far enough towards empty for me to start caring. "And I don't actually know where he lives. I guess I didn't really explain, but he doesn't even know I'm his kid-- he thinks I'm his nephew. The only thing I know is where he works. Or at least, I think he still works there. It's the Millennium Hilton, some big Manhattan hotel."

"What'll you do if he doesn't?"

"I guess I'm hoping someone there will know where he lives or something." I don't want to think about the what-ifs. If I do, I'll start realizing how crazy and unplanned this whole thing is. 

I spot a sign advertising the stores off the next exit and turn on my blinker when I see that one of them is a gas station. I get off and drive to the first building along the detour, a commercial gas station with a tall yellow marquee listing prices. I pull up to one of the pumps, noting there's only one other spot taken thanks to it being such an ungodly hour of the morning.

I turn to look at Charlie, undoing my seat belt so I can reach back and nudge his shoulder. "Charlie."

He stirs, rubbing his face as his eyes blink open. "Yeah? Are we there?"

Kat lets out a small laugh and I smile, shaking my head. "You haven't even been asleep for twenty minutes. I had to stop for gas, you wanna come in and use the bathroom, maybe get a snack or something?"

He sits up and puts on his glasses with a grin, instantly seeming more awake at the notion of food. "Yeah."

Kat and I get out and she holds her seat forward so that Charlie can hop out of the back. Goosebumps appear on my skin as an early morning breeze rolls through the lot, causing me to stretch the sleeves of my black hoodie down to my knuckles. The action makes me realize I've been wearing the thing this whole time-- and as far as I can remember, I don't think I've rolled my sleeves up, which means Kat hasn't seen the scars that I somehow managed to forget about.